Jake's definitions

lickety-split

to administer cunnilingus

I gave her lickety-split

by Jake February 4, 2004

alien masterbation

sticking a dry finger in an ear.

She alien masterbated her boyfriend.

by jake March 5, 2005

bumfuck

a town in any low-density population state. Saves you having to remember special spellings or pronunciations of places that people have never heard of anyway.

She's from Bumfuck, Arkansas.

He was born in Bumfuck, Idaho.

She's from Bumfuck.

When I graduate I'll probably end up working in the Walmart in Bumfuck and marrying some cheerleader that I got pregnant under the bleachers.

by Jake February 26, 2004

Parade of Fertility

Tradition in Japan in which they celebrate schlongs and have a giant pink blimp of one,a shrine,statues,japanese limbo,and every item of food is shaped like a penis.

I knew they were fucked up,I just didnt know they were THAT fucked up.

by Jake October 13, 2004

stinky jeri

goin down to lick some poonani in the wrong direction and ending up with your nose in the starfish as she rips ass in your face.

Damn, i tried goin 69 on her and wound up catchin a whiff of a stinky jeri.

by Jake October 26, 2004

cock author

One who enjoys tatooing dirty homosexual phrases upon the genetalia of their fruity companions. Not be be confused with a mere toatooist tatooing a penis, the cock author does it solely for pleasure and not for profit.

Hans: Were you invited to Bjorn's tatoo party?

Wilhelm: I wouldn't go over there if I were you. He's not a tatooist. He's a freakin cock author.

Hans: Oh shit...

by JakE May 21, 2007

sucks to be you

If you can't define this well... Sucks to be you.

Ha you fell down a well? Sucks to be you

by Jake June 17, 2004