scott's definitions
by Scott December 5, 2003
Get the funktifymug. by scott April 12, 2005
Get the plenarymug. Any of various imported cars which feature any of several defining characteristics:
- Enlarged exhaust tip to 'enhance the sound', usually chrome while the rest is not.
- Numerous stickers which, if applied correctly, add enough horsepower to make it beat "any V8".
- So-called "Body-kits" which, from what I gather, enhance the cars ability to be useless.
- V-Tec logos; can also be found on honda MiniVans.
- Incredibly unintelligent, obnoxious, and belligerent drivers.
- Senselessly large amounts of pointlessly oversized speakers and amplifiers.
- Shiny things that don't do anything.
- Rims of a size never, ever intended by the manufacturer to be attached to the car.
- "Home" lowering modifications which shorten tread-life of otherwise good tires while adding 0 performance enhancements.
- Pointless hoods made of some composte material with a colouration bearing absolutely no resemblance to the rest of the car.
- Novelty "wings" and "hood scoops" - often mistaken for NASA project parts or commercial airliner wings affixed to the back, regardless of the front-wheel-drive.
If for some reason, the person has the intelligence enough to open the hood and figure out how to affix any of various aftermarket modifications, the car might also feature:
- Numerous additional chrome pieces ('shiny things') which are illegal in California and don't really do anything.
- Several 'FAILED EMISSIONS' stamps on its title
- $1000-$12,000 in aftermarket parts which make the expense (not the value) of the car equal to a normal stock sports sedan with slightly lower performance and none of the features of the other cars
- Pointless bundles of "cable housing" wrapped around heavily insulated cords with no need to be in a cable housing.
- Perhaps a different engine than listed on the VIN, usually illegal or pointless because it costs more than the car's worth to do.
- Neon lights???
- An abundant amount of additional gauges, usually not wired to anything.
- Copious quantities of cosmetic modifications, added regardless of their effect on the appearance (usually negative).
The most interresting part of it all, is that the owners of these phenominal vehicles claim things such as: "with $10,000 in mods it's still cheaper than your mustang or corvette stock and faster".
They fail to see that in proclaiming this they've only insulted themselves. In order to make your vehicle equal to the other said vehicles, you require additional funding which can exceede the value of the car to add countless modifications and ONLY add to the mechanical performance aspect of the vehicle? After all this, your vehicle has now cost as much as my WRX, Mustang, or Camero? The part where you really fail to impress me, is in that your car is still a $10,000 P.O.S. on the inside and it might barely outperform mine, which is beautifully detailed and feature rich while still comfortable, leagel, under warranty, and less time consuming to achieve.
Okay, one more time: you have to spend MORE time, the SAME AMOUNT of money, and the ONLY benefit is a slight mechanical performance increase?
I rest my case. A Honda Civic is just a mediocre mid-sized sedan that costs less and offers no more. You're always going to simply GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR.
- Enlarged exhaust tip to 'enhance the sound', usually chrome while the rest is not.
- Numerous stickers which, if applied correctly, add enough horsepower to make it beat "any V8".
- So-called "Body-kits" which, from what I gather, enhance the cars ability to be useless.
- V-Tec logos; can also be found on honda MiniVans.
- Incredibly unintelligent, obnoxious, and belligerent drivers.
- Senselessly large amounts of pointlessly oversized speakers and amplifiers.
- Shiny things that don't do anything.
- Rims of a size never, ever intended by the manufacturer to be attached to the car.
- "Home" lowering modifications which shorten tread-life of otherwise good tires while adding 0 performance enhancements.
- Pointless hoods made of some composte material with a colouration bearing absolutely no resemblance to the rest of the car.
- Novelty "wings" and "hood scoops" - often mistaken for NASA project parts or commercial airliner wings affixed to the back, regardless of the front-wheel-drive.
If for some reason, the person has the intelligence enough to open the hood and figure out how to affix any of various aftermarket modifications, the car might also feature:
- Numerous additional chrome pieces ('shiny things') which are illegal in California and don't really do anything.
- Several 'FAILED EMISSIONS' stamps on its title
- $1000-$12,000 in aftermarket parts which make the expense (not the value) of the car equal to a normal stock sports sedan with slightly lower performance and none of the features of the other cars
- Pointless bundles of "cable housing" wrapped around heavily insulated cords with no need to be in a cable housing.
- Perhaps a different engine than listed on the VIN, usually illegal or pointless because it costs more than the car's worth to do.
- Neon lights???
- An abundant amount of additional gauges, usually not wired to anything.
- Copious quantities of cosmetic modifications, added regardless of their effect on the appearance (usually negative).
The most interresting part of it all, is that the owners of these phenominal vehicles claim things such as: "with $10,000 in mods it's still cheaper than your mustang or corvette stock and faster".
They fail to see that in proclaiming this they've only insulted themselves. In order to make your vehicle equal to the other said vehicles, you require additional funding which can exceede the value of the car to add countless modifications and ONLY add to the mechanical performance aspect of the vehicle? After all this, your vehicle has now cost as much as my WRX, Mustang, or Camero? The part where you really fail to impress me, is in that your car is still a $10,000 P.O.S. on the inside and it might barely outperform mine, which is beautifully detailed and feature rich while still comfortable, leagel, under warranty, and less time consuming to achieve.
Okay, one more time: you have to spend MORE time, the SAME AMOUNT of money, and the ONLY benefit is a slight mechanical performance increase?
I rest my case. A Honda Civic is just a mediocre mid-sized sedan that costs less and offers no more. You're always going to simply GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR.
"Hey Paco, I added $13,241 of shiz to my Civic and I beat a fully stock, 2 year older Camero by 0.2s! Did you know they're putting CD players in those cars stock? Mine cost me just as much and it still doesn't have one."
by Scott December 19, 2003
Get the civicmug. by Scott February 28, 2005
Get the bulletmug. An over-priced, unreliable piece of American crap. A company that has done a masterful job marketing themselves as something different from the other crap American car manufacturers when the only thing unique about them is they clap and hand you balloons when you driver away in your over-priced, unreliable piece of crap. The antithesis of the Honda or Toyota.
Saturn Ads: A different kind of car, a different kind company.
Me: differen kind of car ya, its complete piece of shit; different kind of company, ya, the salesmen did everything but blow me when I picked the thing up.
Me: differen kind of car ya, its complete piece of shit; different kind of company, ya, the salesmen did everything but blow me when I picked the thing up.
by scott June 4, 2004
Get the saturnmug. To push your balls up into the eye sockets of a woman while slapping your dick over the bridge of her nose.
by Scott March 5, 2005
Get the klunk hatmug.