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Ho-tographer 

A member of the growing group of women that mistakenly believe they are budding photographers, sending and posting random snapshots of flowers, bodies of water, and rainbows to everyone they know via social networking sites and email.
"Every time I check email, I get 50 new photos from some Ho-tographer I know."

Cock Topography 

The study of the surface of a large voluptuous cock.
Look at that sorostitute right there... She's a Cock Topographer!

What classes are you taking this semseter???

Cock Topography!
Cock Topography by Cocksman958969 September 1, 2010

No-tographer 

A person at a party (usually intoxicated) who takes a camera from someone else because they swear they are an amazing photographer but the photos all suck.
'I can't wait to see the photos Doug just took of us on Facebook tomorrow!'

'I wouldn't count on it. That douche is a notorious no-tographer'

'Fuck me.'
No-tographer by jgrizzle October 28, 2009

Faux-tographer 

n. someone who claims to be a photographer but isn't; monkey with a spiffy camera
His shots are not bad for a faux-tographer.
Faux-tographer by fauxdeville March 7, 2011

gathering carpet topography data 

When you pass out, either from lack of sleep or various "chemically induced" methods, on a floor which has been carpeted.
William drank so many beers last night that he was gathering carpet topography data by sunrise.

Faux-tographer 

A fake photographer.

An amateur photographer who misrepresents themselves as a professional photographer or photojournalist simply because they bought a DSLR camera and have a Nikon strap.
I didn't know your Mom was a professional photographer. She's not, she's a faux-tographer with a flickr account and a fake media pass.