A humorist and internet phenomenon, most famous for critiquing the famous twilight series in his "blogging twilight" articles on the website www.sparknotes.com

"OMG 1st on a Dan Bergstien blog???"

"You are my life now,

Dan Bergstein"

Dan Bergstein by Imlora April 2, 2010

Dan Bergstein

An acclaimed genius who rightfully describes the Twilight series characters (i.e. Pedweird is a pedophiliac stalker with control issues and Smelly Belly is a horny teenager who complains about her life and would rather have a controlling boyfriend than outdoor spaghetti) in a hilarious blog. An icon of Sparknotes. Also known as Lt. Lasermind.

Kid 1: Lt. Lasermind is a genius.
Kid 2: Pedweird and Smelly Belly are stupid, according to him.
Kid 1: I want to go onto Sparknotes and read his latest blog.
Kid 2: Dan Bergstein is the highlight of the entire site.
Kid 1: Let's have some outdoor spaghetti, too!

Dan Bergstein by Eeyore Onesies December 7, 2010

carmilla karnstein

The best lesbian vampire you will ever encounter. She knows everything about the philosophy & her style is edgy af.

Jane: hey did you watch the latest Carmilla episode?
Katy: of course I did! Carmilla Karnstein is so insightful and badass.

Jane: I know! Carmilla and Laura Hollis are my OTP

carmilla karnstein by Chlarke February 28, 2016

Alex Borstein

A plump little woman who used to be on MADtv and now writes/produces for the FOX cartoon Family Guy. She's got some big fucking tits, too.

Alex Borstein is the voice of Lois Griffin.

Alex Borstein by theicemanwillcometh January 14, 2009

Bernsteined

To totally destroy a sales cycle by forcefully interjecting into a corporate sale with malice against another salesman. Thus, killing any opportunity for future sales growth within a penetrated account or client portfolio.

I can't believe that "Eric" Bernsteined me out of a $1 million dollar deal out of spite!

Bernsteined by BERNSTEINED October 12, 2011

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.

Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026

Word of the Day on September 25, 2026

crunchy

Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.

"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"

crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007

Word of the Day on September 24, 2026

Galantir

A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.

Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.

Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026

Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.

Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.

Concrete cowboy by EugeneJohnson42000 March 16, 2024

Word of the Day on September 20, 2026