A humorist and internet phenomenon, most famous for critiquing the famous twilight series in his "blogging twilight" articles on the website www.sparknotes.com
"OMG 1st on a Dan Bergstien blog???"
"You are my life now,
An acclaimed genius who rightfully describes the Twilight series characters (i.e. Pedweird is a pedophiliac stalker with control issues and Smelly Belly is a horny teenager who complains about her life and would rather have a controlling boyfriend than outdoor spaghetti) in a hilarious blog. An icon of Sparknotes. Also known as Lt. Lasermind.
Kid 1: Lt. Lasermind is a genius.
Kid 2: Pedweird and Smelly Belly are stupid, according to him.
Kid 1: I want to go onto Sparknotes and read his latest blog.
Kid 2: Dan Bergstein is the highlight of the entire site.
Kid 1: Let's have some outdoor spaghetti, too!