celltard

1. The person in the audience at a concert, play, movie, etc, who forgot to turn off his/her cell phone and is reminded of that fact by getting a call during the event, much to the irritation of everyone else nearby.

2. Someone who feels the need to yell into his/her cell phone far above and beyond normal conversational volume, much to the irritation of everyone else nearby.
Distant reverberating phone ring: beep boop boop beepity beep boop boop!
Other people in audience: What a celltard!

Celltard: BLAH BLAH BLLAAHHHH! BBBLLLAAHHH!
Other people: Shh!
by creaternity April 29, 2006
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powerpoint

A heinous, but useful microsoft tool for putting together presentations of slides/viewgraphs.
This little piece of sh -- I mean, software comes with MS Office and it features creepy templates and clipart, your helpful friend Clippit and strategic incompatibilities with previous versions of itself.
It masquerades as a graphics program, but cannot touch Adobe in any way shape or form, so it is instead as annoyingly incompatible with Adobe as possible.
Also, it will HOG all your SWAP SPACE.
Bastard.
Person: Instead of doing real technical work, I spent all day making powerpoint slides out of my results, only to have the software freeze my computer after a few hours.
by creaternity May 02, 2006
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paid witness

an unarmed security guard

I mean, what the hell is this guy gonna do against a heat packing thief?
Lady: Aahhh! That guy just took my purse!
Guard: He sure did!
Lady: Well, do something, dammit!
Guard: What do you want me to do? Run up and slap him so he can knife me to death? I'm just a paid witness!
Lady: Argh!
by creaternity May 03, 2006
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helicopter mom

A hovering & controlling, but well-meaning, parent who gets way too involved in her child's life to the point of doing things that are completely inappropriate, such as personally attending all of little Sweetiepie's extracurricular activities, writing medium-sized Sweetiepie's school application essays, and submitting full-grown Sweetiepie's job applications.
Suzy's job interview was rendered very awkward by the fact that her helicopter mom insisted on accompanying her.

Joey moved across the country to escape his helicopter mom, but she still calls him six times a day.
by creaternity November 19, 2006
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cab

1. a taxi (a yellow car with a sign on top that will drive your ass around town for a price calculated per minute or per mile)

2. a switch jump on a skateboard, snowboard, or skiis in which you start fakie, spin at least 360 and land forward (named after Steven Caballero)
1. If you don't want to get on the subway with the hoi polloi and can't afford a chauffeur, you can always take a cab.

2. We spent all afternoon practicing cabs on the halfpipe.
by creaternity May 27, 2006
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poophole loophole

The logic that allows girls who are saving their virginity for marriage to instead have premarital anal intercourse.
Typically the boyfriends of such girls will convince them that, if they take it in the ass and don't pop the cherry, they're still pure and virginal.
Guy 1: "I'm bummed because this hot chick I dated is saving herself for marriage."
Guy 2: "Just explain the poophole loophole to her and you'll score for sure."

Chick: "Thank goodness for the poophole loophole. Now I can honestly tell God and my parents that I am a virgin."
by creaternity March 23, 2006
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gel pen

A writing utensil containing "gel" ink, which resembles a liquidy paint that can be applied to almost any surface and comes in every possible color you can imagine from metallic orange, to sparkly purple, to glow-in-the-dark green. This newest and greatest pen technology is comfortable to use because it requires little hand pressure, but often the ink takes a bit long to dry.
Gel pen manufacturers include: Marvy, Sanford, Zebra, Pilot, and Sakura.
Signing my mortgage was so much more fun with a iridescent blue gel pen.

Any true pen slut owns at least ten different gel pens.
by creaternity April 18, 2006
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