creaternity's definitions

flushinator

One of those damn toilets that flushes automatically, usually found in public restrooms. There's a little "eye" in the back (yes, creepy) that is supposed to sense when you get off the can so it can flush for you, just in case you are one of those doochebags who doesn't know how the little lever works. (Who ARE the people who DON'T flush???) Unfortunately, the "eye" often makes mistakes, causing the toilet to flush prematurely, thus splashing one's posterior with toilet water. Yuck.

Coworker 1: I hate the flushinator.
Coworker 2: Yeah, tell me about it. The one in the third stall gave my boys a douche this morning.

by creaternity July 10, 2006

500 dollar lane

The breakdown lane on a highway. Why? Because that's how much money you gotta pay if a cop catches you driving in it.

(Can also mean the leftmost lane for trucks when they are only allowed to drive on the right.)

Passenger: This traffic sux! Let's take the 500 dollar lane.
Driver: Okay, but only if you'll front the $500 when statey sees us.

by creaternity May 12, 2006

CFO

Chief Financial Officer
Close cousin to the CEO, except this is the guy who's in charge of coordinating a company's insider trading and profit inflation scams and getting the documents shredded afterwards.

Andrew Fastow, the former CFO of Enron, is in jail for helping orchestrate one of the biggest corporate investment scams of the century. His boss, CEO Kenneth Lay, pretended he didn't know what Fastow was up to in order to save his own ass. What a bunch of scumbags.

by creaternity April 30, 2006

dunkin donuts

Everyone's favorite donut -- um, I mean, coffee shop. It first opened in Quincy MA (that's pronounced "Kwinzee") and has now propagated all over the world even to Thailand, where the largest Dunkies ever supposedly seats about 130 people.

This is the only place where a "regular" coffee means with cream and sugar. Also it's the only place to buy some "munchkins", small balls of donut "hole" that you can eat in one bite. (Yes, it's amazing something that sounds this gross was such a big hit.)

This fabulous establishment is loved by everyone: Cops, college students, CEOs, punks, soccer moms, sistas, ABCs, WASPs, your momma, and whoever else walks in the door.

The Dunkin Donuts on my street had a line out the door this morning, so I went to the one two blocks down instead.

by creaternity May 2, 2006

lineup

A police technique in which a handful of people fitting a similar description are stood in a line together for a witness of a crime to see. The witness is then supposed to pick out the perp.

They had to let the suspect walk after the witness couldn't pick him out of a lineup.

by creaternity May 13, 2006

utilize

A substitute for the word "use" to be employed when you want to make something sound more important or difficult than it really is.

Person says: "We utilize an alphabetical schematic to organize our records."
Translate: "We file documents alphabetically."

by creaternity April 18, 2006

clickaholic

Somebody who believes that, by mouse clicking repeatedly on an icon or button, he/she will make the computer/website respond faster.
Sadly, this behavior can actually make a computer run slower. Often, the clickaholic knows this, but can't control the compulsion to click obsessively anyway.
Clickaholics are also known to apply the same philosophy in analagous situations, such as pressing the return key.

Clickaholic: click click click click
Computer: ......
Clickaholic: Dammit! Why won't this program open already??
Computer: .....
Clickholic: click CLICK CLICK CLICK!!!!!

by creaternity April 29, 2006