creaternity's definitions

CFO

Chief Financial Officer
Close cousin to the CEO, except this is the guy who's in charge of coordinating a company's insider trading and profit inflation scams and getting the documents shredded afterwards.

Andrew Fastow, the former CFO of Enron, is in jail for helping orchestrate one of the biggest corporate investment scams of the century. His boss, CEO Kenneth Lay, pretended he didn't know what Fastow was up to in order to save his own ass. What a bunch of scumbags.

by creaternity April 30, 2006

spinning

New form of group exercise in which a dozen or more people (usually women) sit on indoor stationary bikes together and pedal to the sound of music and the directions of an instructor.

Girl 1: Wanna come to the gym with me and take a spinning class?
Boy 1: Um, I think I'll just go outside and ride my bike, but thanks anyway.

Girl 2: Wanna come to the gym with me and take a spinning class?
Boy 2: Hmm, am I in the mood do some real exercise and lift weights or stare at 20 spandexed girl butts for an hour? Hard decision.....

by creaternity May 1, 2006

clickaholic

Somebody who believes that, by mouse clicking repeatedly on an icon or button, he/she will make the computer/website respond faster.
Sadly, this behavior can actually make a computer run slower. Often, the clickaholic knows this, but can't control the compulsion to click obsessively anyway.
Clickaholics are also known to apply the same philosophy in analagous situations, such as pressing the return key.

Clickaholic: click click click click
Computer: ......
Clickaholic: Dammit! Why won't this program open already??
Computer: .....
Clickholic: click CLICK CLICK CLICK!!!!!

by creaternity April 29, 2006

lineup

A police technique in which a handful of people fitting a similar description are stood in a line together for a witness of a crime to see. The witness is then supposed to pick out the perp.

They had to let the suspect walk after the witness couldn't pick him out of a lineup.

by creaternity May 13, 2006

dunkin donuts

Everyone's favorite donut -- um, I mean, coffee shop. It first opened in Quincy MA (that's pronounced "Kwinzee") and has now propagated all over the world even to Thailand, where the largest Dunkies ever supposedly seats about 130 people.

This is the only place where a "regular" coffee means with cream and sugar. Also it's the only place to buy some "munchkins", small balls of donut "hole" that you can eat in one bite. (Yes, it's amazing something that sounds this gross was such a big hit.)

This fabulous establishment is loved by everyone: Cops, college students, CEOs, punks, soccer moms, sistas, ABCs, WASPs, your momma, and whoever else walks in the door.

The Dunkin Donuts on my street had a line out the door this morning, so I went to the one two blocks down instead.

by creaternity May 2, 2006

utilize

A substitute for the word "use" to be employed when you want to make something sound more important or difficult than it really is.

Person says: "We utilize an alphabetical schematic to organize our records."
Translate: "We file documents alphabetically."

by creaternity April 18, 2006

cab

1. a taxi (a yellow car with a sign on top that will drive your ass around town for a price calculated per minute or per mile)

2. a switch jump on a skateboard, snowboard, or skiis in which you start fakie, spin at least 360 and land forward (named after Steven Caballero)

1. If you don't want to get on the subway with the hoi polloi and can't afford a chauffeur, you can always take a cab.

2. We spent all afternoon practicing cabs on the halfpipe.

by creaternity May 31, 2006