41 definitions by creaternity

"Watching the submarine races" is a euphamism for making out (and more) in a car. It's the kind of thing a cop would say to be funny when he knocks on the fogged-up window of your chevy parked in back of the safeway to ask what you're doing there at 1am, as if he doesn't know damn well.
Cop: Hey, what're you kids doing in there? Watching the submarine races?
People in car: Gak! Where are my pants?
by creaternity April 13, 2006
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A person who is not only cheap, but also foists his cheapness on others in irritating ways.
The dude who brings TWO PBRs to a BYOB party and then drinks six pilsners is a cheapass. This is probably the same guy who doesn't want to evenly split the bill at a restaurant because your food cost $33 and his only cost $30.
by creaternity May 19, 2006
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A substitute for the word "use" to be employed when you want to make something sound more important or difficult than it really is.
Person says: "We utilize an alphabetical schematic to organize our records."
Translate: "We file documents alphabetically."
by creaternity March 21, 2006
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Chief Financial Officer
Close cousin to the CEO, except this is the guy who's in charge of coordinating a company's insider trading and profit inflation scams and getting the documents shredded afterwards.
Andrew Fastow, the former CFO of Enron, is in jail for helping orchestrate one of the biggest corporate investment scams of the century. His boss, CEO Kenneth Lay, pretended he didn't know what Fastow was up to in order to save his own ass. What a bunch of scumbags.
by creaternity April 17, 2006
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noun. A church that has been converted into commercial offices in a not-so-subtle manner
OR
adj. Describing a building that was clearly once a church and is now an office building.

Close cousin of the chondo, a church that has been converted into condos.
To get to the adult video store, go down the street and take a right at the choffice. Can't miss the neon sign two blocks up on the left.

My dad works in a choffice building on Main Street; Ironic, considering that he's the CFO of an HMO.
by creaternity April 17, 2006
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A heinous, but useful microsoft tool for putting together presentations of slides/viewgraphs.
This little piece of sh -- I mean, software comes with MS Office and it features creepy templates and clipart, your helpful friend Clippit and strategic incompatibilities with previous versions of itself.
It masquerades as a graphics program, but cannot touch Adobe in any way shape or form, so it is instead as annoyingly incompatible with Adobe as possible.
Also, it will HOG all your SWAP SPACE.
Bastard.
Person: Instead of doing real technical work, I spent all day making powerpoint slides out of my results, only to have the software freeze my computer after a few hours.
by creaternity May 2, 2006
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pronounced "shwe" (as in feng shui)

adjective used to describe something that is pleasing, stylish, cool, or excellent usually by virtue of the way it looks
"Those shoes are really shui. Where did you get them?"
by creaternity March 24, 2006
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