These strange species can seem perfectly harmless until they are placed in their natural habitat. If there is a silverbacked chav who is superior to everyone as he has the latest
Scooter album, the other
chavs will form a protective ring around him.
These scourge plague the streets of most cities, but most of all Newcastle. The male of the species will have short spiked hair, and will pretend their voice is
deep years before it has
broken, which appears to be an effective mating call. The
female of the species will wear truckloads of makeup and huge (often plastic) earrings the size of the millennium wheel. If temperatures are below -5 degrees C, they will feel inclined to wear a mini
skirt which barely covers their hips (see also: Micro
Skirt)
When the male and
female of the species meet, the male will put on a burbry cap to seem more attractive. Within an hour the two will have engaged in unprotected sex and whoops!...there goes another teenage pregnancy, another scum
bag to pay for in our taxes!
Chavs will also force themselves to start smoking at the age of about
12, which is a sign that they are "Hard" or "Belter".
Any human verbal interaction with these vermin will result in an absolutely moronic response such as "Hew man you fucking daft cunt!" when asked to rephrase their inadequately worded statement, the same, only slightly more angry response is thrown at you.
No other 'race' other than their own is acceptable. Any goths, punks, skaters or grungies are renamed to "tree huggers" or "hippys". They do not have the brain cells to understand that they are infact the worst scourge of this planet!
Lastly, they will start fights with anybody that's smaller than them, to try and make themselves feel highly superior, and to try and impress the opposite sex. The long
long list could go on
forever.
To sum it up, these spangle stained hooligans are a dire example of
Darwin's "Survival of the fittest" and are a complete waste of space, carbon lifeform, and tax payers
money!
