1. Earliest use in the neutral sense of speedy in "Dear Mr. Banker", by Nicholas P. Mitchell, published in The Greenville News of January 14th 1950:
"By the way, in spite of the fact that various Greenville bankers have explained to me why it isn’t a good idea, I still wish every bank had at least
one teller’s cage reserved for people who want to cash a
check or to make an individual deposit. Such transactions require about half a minute, but it is not unusual to wait in line fifteen minutes or more while those who are banking on behalf of business get their requirements met. ... But if we small fry had a “
wham, bam, thank you ma’am,” line of our own, we’d all save a lot of
time."
The phrase merely referred to suddenness before it was used as a slang for quick sexual intercourses.
2. The earliest occurrence of
wham, bam, thank you ma’am with reference to
sex is from the review of
Ball Four (World Publishing Co. – New York, 1970), by the American baseball
player James
Alan Bouton, hence 20 years after its first use as an adjective. Bouton's review was published by
John Justin Smith in the Star-Gazette (Elmira, New York) of June 10th 1970:
"Bouton says of
ball players that they are not, by and large, “the best dates. They prefer
wham, bam, thank you, ma’am affairs.”
3. It's used in the military to denote a sudden, forceful effect. Feel free to also use it to denote any sudden, quick action or effect, not just sexual ones. The intended meaning is highly contextual.