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Koe Wetzel 

A man with a beautiful voice and great cutoff jeans. This man also drinks literally every day of his life.
Guy 1: Dude I wanna live a carefree life

Guy 2: like Koe Wetzel?

Guy 1: Hell yeah like Koe Fucking Wetzel!
Koe Wetzel by T~$w@G July 29, 2018
noun. A different pronunciation of the word weasel, when using it to describe someone.
Alex: "Brozay, did Kev ever give you back the fifty dollars he owes you?"
Mo: "Yeah, but he's still a weazelle in my book."
weazelle by stockman09 July 13, 2010

Wetzel pretzel 

When you shove a bit of a pretzel up your pp hole
Jim”Hey can I have a pretzel and want to do a wetzel pretzel”

Mat “sure thing Jim!”
Wetzel pretzel by Afilthycasual November 10, 2020
An unanticipated split in a male's stream of urine occurring as a result of excess semen in the urethra produced in a previous instance of masturbation or sex
Ex. 1) I was caught unawares by the magnitude of my Wetzel, leading to a disastrous leakage of urine onto my bathroom floor.

Ex. 2) I missed the toilet by several feet after experiencing a Wetzel of epic proportions.
Wetzel by Jwetz August 6, 2014

Pulling a Wetzel 

Leaving 10 minutes early for lunch to beat the crowd
We’re pulling a Wetzel at lunch today

Ms.Wetzel 

The mother of Satan. taker of phones. Crusher of dreams. Eater of butts. giver of chores
If you meet a Ms.Wetzel run immediately and pour holy water on your self to cleanse her germs
Ms.Wetzel by drobyboi December 20, 2019