warmn't
warmn't by RavensWithFingers January 27, 2023
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warm toilet seat
Quite possibly the only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm toilet seat. The thought of sitting and basking in the misery of someone else's rectal warmth is not only disturbing, but also detestable, repugnant, hideous, and completely repulsive. The most heinous, hardened criminal should not have to suffer a fate as bad as sitting on a warm toilet seat.
Those that enjoy warm toilet seats usually also enjoy drinking room temperature coffee, eating food off the floor despite the expiration of the 5-second rule, not washing their hands after using the bathroom (worsened only by the use of a warm toilet seat), discarding of damp baby diapers into a trash receptacle inside the house, using a reused plastic bag to pick-up dog feces with their hand, and other vile, wretched acts.
The only thing worse than a warm toilet seat is a warm public toilet seat. Should you find yourself forced to use a warm public toilet seat, you should promptly burn all of the flesh subjected to this unholy hell. May God have mercy on your soul.
Those that enjoy warm toilet seats usually also enjoy drinking room temperature coffee, eating food off the floor despite the expiration of the 5-second rule, not washing their hands after using the bathroom (worsened only by the use of a warm toilet seat), discarding of damp baby diapers into a trash receptacle inside the house, using a reused plastic bag to pick-up dog feces with their hand, and other vile, wretched acts.
The only thing worse than a warm toilet seat is a warm public toilet seat. Should you find yourself forced to use a warm public toilet seat, you should promptly burn all of the flesh subjected to this unholy hell. May God have mercy on your soul.
Jeff: OMG! I just had to use the bathroom in the office. The toilet seat was......WARM!
Kari: Dear God! A warm toilet seat? Say it ain't so!
Jeff: It is so. I'm so ashamed, but there was no alternative.
Kari: I will pray for you. Meanwhile, here's some gasoline and a match. You know what you have to do.
Kari: Dear God! A warm toilet seat? Say it ain't so!
Jeff: It is so. I'm so ashamed, but there was no alternative.
Kari: I will pray for you. Meanwhile, here's some gasoline and a match. You know what you have to do.
warm toilet seat by SmellyMullet June 16, 2014
warms the cockles of my heart
When you paid for my lunch with that big smile it warmed the cockles of my heart!
It warms the cockles of my heart to hear you speak so kindly of your sister.
It warms the cockles of my heart to hear you speak so kindly of your sister.
warms the cockles of my heart by Inner Rose January 9, 2017
warm towel
Similar to a "red herring" a "warm towel" is a ruse to distract someones attention.
Etymology: From an environmental movement called Tidowave's events. It is recommended to members that a warm towel be brought - this implies, without stating, that Direct Action will be in effect at the event.
Etymology: From an environmental movement called Tidowave's events. It is recommended to members that a warm towel be brought - this implies, without stating, that Direct Action will be in effect at the event.
Margaret: "Did you find Randy or find out what happened to Teddy?"
Jamie: "Nah, it was a warm towel."
Jamie: "Nah, it was a warm towel."
warm towel by m0r1arty January 4, 2008
A Warm Towel Treatment
Chillin on your back while your partner washes “deez nuts” with a warm washcloth after having sex. This is especially nice when you don’t even ask for a cleaning. Warm towel treatments were never intended to replace a shower, but somethimes they do ;)
I didn’t shower after sex... I got the warm towel treatment instead.
You don’t want to die without ever receiving a warm towel treatment. It’s a bucket list item for sure!
You don’t want to die without ever receiving a warm towel treatment. It’s a bucket list item for sure!
A Warm Towel Treatment by Vladimir Poopin February 10, 2019
warm tang
warm tang by Chachi McSpoony Pants January 20, 2018