(N) a person, typically male, that is absolutely bottom-of-the-barrel. Never fits in, yet constantly tries to, and is oblivious to his being the black sheep while still finding himself to be hilarious or very attractive. May date smaller, spurrier blonde women and "fall in love" with them after two weeks of sporadic dating (while she is getting plowed by several other men). Usually found in either Nebraska or Las Vegas, plaguing individuals with his total lack of self-worth.

Varwig could also be used in reference to feces or a rectum.
"God, that guy is such a varwig."
Or
"I just took the biggest varwig, it filled the bowl."
Or
"I may try to put it in her varwig tonight."
by Floppy wiener May 27, 2014
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