transpire
"Transpire" is a synonym for "happen," "take place," or "occur," and is most commonly used by lower-income whites or African-Americans when speaking to the media or, more commonly, law enforcement.
"Well officer, me and Junior and Latrell was all just ambulatin' down the thoroughfare here and minding our own businesses with no thought whatsoever of getting into mischief, when suddenly and out of nowhere these three Arab Muslim lookin' fellas - you know, like the President - done leaped out of the bushes at us! Well, they was just leapin' around and yellin' about that Ollie fella that they worship and Junior, bein' the fine, upstandin' American that he is, produced out of nowhere a bottle of tequila and done swung it at one of the terrorists and shattered the bottle against his dome, spraying the immediate vicinity with broken glass and liquor, which explains the mess on the sidewalk here and why we all reek of Cuervo. Simultaneously and at the same time, Latrell assessed the aptitude of the situation, retrieved a cinder block from that construction site over there, and flung it at yet another of the terrorists in an attempt to defend our country and protect our freedoms. Unfortunately, Latrell has never had the best throwin' arm and he missed that uppity Muslim and accidentally shattered the front glass to the convenience store in which we happened to be located in front of during the terrorist attack. Well, with the glass already shattered and one terrorist unaccounted for, I thought it would be most prudent and logical to whomp him upside the noggin with the most convenient weapon, which I ascertained to be the ATM machine from inside the store, which is precisely and logically how said ATM machine came to be resting out here on the sidewalk. I'm not sure how my foot got stuck in the ATM dispenser though, as I blacked out in a haze of patriotic fury while defending my country from those brown heathens. And that, officer, is exactly what transpired here.
transpire by Harold Vagina January 12, 2009
