toms river

Where everybody knows your name... because they're talking behind your back. Nights consist of riding up and down 37 and Hooper asking, "So what do you wanna do tonight?" Known nationally for our Little League World Championship, cancerous tap water, and the fact every corner has a Wawa LITERALLY. We gave you Piper Parabo and... We go to the beach, no "down the shore" shit. Seaside is always overrun by BENNY's and the waves are knee high (on good days), but the boardwalk is always good for a fight. Careful of the dunes, they're teeming with horny teenagers and Sand People. Our mall is beat and the best place to smoke up, Castle Park, is across the street from the fucking Police Station! Some MTV executive must own real estate here, cause North is always being Made and we hosted MTV SUMMER for 2 years!?!
Let's go to the TERD (Toms River Diner)!
by El Capitan February 25, 2005
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toms river

a town mostt known for the toms river fest. and for bad water and little league. our high school north is spoiled . the tweens love the mall and movie theatre. in the summer, 80% of the residents are at the beach. at night boardwalk fights are basically our CULTURE. we do not pump our own gas. the girls are real and the guys dont walk around in wife beaters.girls dont wear much makeup and the dress in the latest trends. everyone from toms river loves the beach. our life is your vacation :
toms river is overrun by bennys.
by holycow123 December 08, 2008
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toms river

Toms River is a suburban town in Dover township thats quite large. Mostly filled with old people, mexicans, and blacks. Home of three high school: North, South, and East. NO one cares about East. Their located on the far side of town, so people forget theres even a school in their. North is full of rich, snobby people, but the most athletic of the three schools. South is the only school In the US where you wont get caught smoking a cigarette in the gymnasium and that has a cop downtown making sure you don't Jwalk.
In smaller terms, Toms River sucks. Its a pain in the ass to get from 37 east to going north on Hooper if you want to spend your friday night at the mall like everyone else does. Nothing good is in the mall, full of shoe stores and a food court that only serves international food and a dirty bathroom.
Everyone knows everyone here, even if you havent met them. We've all heard the same rumors, drama, and useless piece of information about eachother. But quite frankly, no one cares unless your looking for trouble.
There's about 1,000 neighborhoods in Toms River, not including STR, Beachwood, or Pinebeach. Home of more elementry schools then you can shit a stick at, deciding where you want your child to get a grammar school education is no easy task.
STR has more black people then Harlem. Don't walk the streets of Center Homes after 7 pm alone unless you have a shotgun, 911 on speed dial, and a black belt in karate. The only decent area of STR is the small, one-street neightbor hood across 530 off of Double Trouble Road.
Beachwood is just as bad as STR, except less blacks and more old people. If you want to look like you have money, live in one of those big, fancy houses down by the new intermediate school.
Pine Beach is less known then the other 2 areas. Half of its residents go to Central High school... maybe thats why. If you want to get killed in Pine beach, all you have to do is wear all black and lay in the middle of Motor Road at midnight on a Friday night.
What Friendleys in toms river do you want to go to?
by asshole12345 August 16, 2006
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toms river

A place where some of the most stuck up egotistical people live. not worth visiting uless you want cancer if so drink the water. cool beans is fun. HSN kicks ass.. south and east suck dick... mall belongs to north, movies too, and iceskating. NORTH ALL THE WAY. TRN: ROCK SOLID
courtney is amazing because she lives in toms river, and goes to HSN.
by COURTNEYxCUPCAKES March 14, 2008
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toms river

Im going to Toms River today to see Courtney Brown because shes hott and I love her and want her to have my babies.
by I<3CB June 13, 2004
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Toms River

Suburban area where nothing exciting happens. Most importantly, the coolest kids in the world live here. Best known for the Little League Championship winners. Also, everyone here claims that they knew Piper Perabo because this is her hometown. During the summer, Seaside Hts. is overrun with tourists and occasionally MTV for some strange reason. People are being "Made" left and right. We have the worst mall in the world. Kids skip school to go to the beach.
Hey, let's go to the Poland Springs Arena to see Bill Cosby.

Cool Beans or Applebees after the movie?
by Mr. Ritacco January 25, 2005
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Toms River

Toms River is a large town with nearly 100,000 people. It is home to the largest suburban school district in the state with over 19,000 students enrolled. It has 12 elementary schools, 3 intermediate, and 4 high schools (including Ocean County's only Catholic High School). It is near the beach and Six Flags Great Adventure. It is home to the largest non-teaching hospital in the state and the only mall in the county. Toms River is known for Toms River Fest, one of the Top 100 Events in the country, winning the Little League World Championship in 1998, and one of the largest Halloween parades in the entire world. It is a great place to raise your kids as it is located within one of the top places to live in the country.
by Bobbyan June 29, 2006
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