Skip to main content

The guillotine

A 'practical joke' that involves lifting the seat of a toilet, and intricately defecating on the front lip of the bowl. You then delicately place the toilet seat on top on the freshly laid nugget, and evacuate the stall.

Ideally, your intended victim will come along to enjoy their peaceful abulution, drop their pants and proceed to sit down.

The result of their bodyweight on the toilet seat will sever a section of turd and eject it like Mary Antoinette's head into the victims awaiting pants.

Everything going to plan, you will have successfully shat in someone's pantaloons while they are wearing them. And probably irrevocably burned any bridges of friendship in the process.
Mark laid the guillotine in the camps mess toilet. Now they have taken all the seats away since we clearly can't be trusted.
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.

The guillotine

A 'practical joke' that involves lifting the seat of a toilet, and intricately defecating on the front lip of the bowl. You then delicately place the toilet seat on top on the freshly laid nugget, and evacuate the stall.

Ideally, your intended victim will come along to enjoy their peaceful ablution, drop their pants and proceed to sit down.

The result of their body weight on the toilet seat will sever a section of turd and eject it like Mary Antoinette's head into the victims awaiting pants.

Everything going to plan, you will have successfully shat in someone's pantaloons while they are wearing them. And probably irrevocably burned any bridges of friendship in the process.
Mark laid the guillotine in the camps mess toilet. Now they have taken all the seats away since we clearly can't be trusted.

The Guillotine

When you French kiss your girl and uppercut her jaw
"Yo james I hit my girl with "The Guillotine"
"Oh shit yeah todd"
The Guillotine by Fozzagain June 7, 2019

The Guillotine

What we're all going to write in if the major political parties don't start putting up better candidates.
"Which of these morons do you think is the lesser of two evils?"
"No, didn't you hear? We're all going to write in The Guillotine to send a message that we're sick and tired of this shit."
The Guillotine by Publius0987 August 9, 2025

get the guillotine!

saying you use when a girl has a hot body but a nasty face.
"Oh shit, that girl is hot"
-then the face is revealed
"aaaaaaaah, get the guillotine!"

double bubble disco queen headed to the guillotine 

someone who has no idea what is going on when close to being faced with punishment
"Hey, did you see Greg yesterday? He punched the police chief."
"Well, he's a double bubble disco queen headed to the guillotine."

The Oral Guillotine sprinkler 

it's a super kinky and fun for the whole family, sex move

you sit on the ground with your legs spread sitting up right, have the girl lie on the ground like a bear rug, with your dick in her mouth; as you're about to climax have a buddy curb stomp on her head, slamming down her head so that it cuts off your penis. as you're ejaculating, your blood and cum will mix and shoot out at high speeds covering where ever you are in bloody cum! As for your penis? well that's a meal or souvenir for her to keep.
The Oral Guillotine Sprinkler is a super kinky sex move

Bro, she was so into me she even Oral Guillotine sprinkler ed me.
whoa bro, you did it, and didn't ask me to curb stomp her for you?
sorry homie but I had to ask my neighbour, he was the closest at the time.
that's reasonable.
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
Load more