The bizarre act seen in many porn films whereby a distinguished gentleman or gracious lady with strap-on, grips the base of the phallus and lightly taps it upon the meaty buttock-flesh of a partner presenting themselves by resting on the knees and hands (or elbows (...or face)). The most likely explanation for this phenomenon was offered by Professor Archibald Knobblyknackers of Christ College, Oxford, who theorised that the action was originally designed to test the hollowness of the awaiting bung-hole after the disastrous attempt by a disoriented Ron Jeremy to sodomise a helpless-yet-impenetrable Venus De Milo prop, which resulted in an imploded bellend and the brief resurrection of Michelangelo Batio for vengeance, who was given licence to murder twelve pigeons after a hazardous filing error and accidental double-lifing on account of the fact he wasn’t dead in the first place. Thus, dick tamping was subsequently invented as a safety precaution to ensure adequate space for a ram-passage, or to check for cockroaches or something.
‘Always precede any acts of quadrapedal intercourse with thorough dick tamping. If you are not sure whether it is safe to proceed, do not risk entry under any circumstances and contact your appointed fire official, where the offending buttocks will be taken away to be incinerated’ – the Porn Safety Handbook
by 535 October 9, 2012
by K Easy December 31, 2007
a place where people (Mainly Teenagers) obnoxiously state their uneducated opinions and suck up the internet/wifi by posting pictures on instagram of their drinks. Also has great coffee.
by BeastaBubbles February 1, 2014
Full Phrase: Tampon Slap
When a tampon is pulled out of the vagina and is used to slap someone repeatedly across the face.
When a tampon is pulled out of the vagina and is used to slap someone repeatedly across the face.
by PeachesAdam November 9, 2007
the act of slapping a person, usually a female asian, in the face with a blood-soaked feminine product (tampon). sometimes seen as a symbol of communist china as a result of it's red pigment.
by pablito1187 April 27, 2008
by Joeysaladsworldwordreview November 23, 2016
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