Thadia is a spicy, salty,
sweet lil cup of delight. While not
food herself, she enjoys scarfing down a dozen Krispy Kremes in one sitting, huge amounts of sashimi, and the occasional piece of gum. (Yes, she swallows 30% of the gum she chews.) Hobbies include warming her ice cold hands, clubbing, speculating on labor laws relating to construction work on weekend mornings, and making demeaning comments toward her car named Ron Burgundy. If you find a Thadia talking on the phone in a supermarket, it’
s best to steer clear. She’
s got a
mean right
hook and her 3rd degree black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu makes her a threat on the ground. Thadias are often
slim, athletic, and 5 feet tall, allowing them to crawl easily into small spaces — like ventilation systems — to complete dangerous black ops missions on behalf of international spy agencies. Thadias smell vaguely like
candy flowers, but fart compulsively when startled.
Lookee there, that Thadia is talking on the phone and we’re in a supermarket — let’
s stay away;
Or,
Hey Thadia! Would you like to
slay a Copper River salmon and consume it
raw with me?