Thadia is a spicy, salty, sweet lil cup of delight. While not
food herself, she enjoys scarfing down a dozen Krispy Kremes in one sitting, huge amounts of sashimi, and the occasional piece of
gum. (
Yes, she swallows 30% of the
gum she chews.) Hobbies include warming her ice cold hands, clubbing, speculating on labor laws relating to construction work on weekend mornings, and making demeaning comments toward her car named Ron Burgundy. If you find a Thadia talking on the phone in a supermarket, it’s best to steer clear. She’s got a mean right hook and her 3rd degree black
belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu makes her a threat on the ground. Thadias are often slim, athletic, and 5 feet tall, allowing them to crawl easily into
small spaces — like ventilation systems — to complete dangerous black
ops missions on behalf of international spy agencies. Thadias smell vaguely like
candy flowers, but fart compulsively when startled.
Lookee there, that Thadia is talking on the phone and we’re in a supermarket — let’s stay away;
Or,
Hey Thadia! Would you like to
slay a Copper
River salmon and consume it raw with me?