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A hard head makes a soft ass 

Of Southern American origin. Refers to the fact that a person that does not listen to reason is going to have a tough life. Often a person that insists on making their own mistakes rather than listen to sage advice will hear this phrase. In other words a young inexperienced person that keeps making stupid mistakes will take a lot of beatings.
Johnnie won't listen to anything his daddy tells him. Well, a hard head makes a soft ass.

as soft as a she-mouse's belly 

An expression meaning very soft and tender to caress and feel.
The fabric of Stephanie's new coat was very warm and luxurious and felt as soft as a she-mouse's belly.

Soft as a pensioner's turd 

When someone's actions are that soft that a pensioner's soft/runny stool holds more merit then their character and actions.
Worker A: Did you see old mate couldn't even lift a sandbag.

Worker B: Don't worry that cunt is as soft as a pensioner's turd, I have lost all hope with them.

Soft as a jelly donut 

Its used to illustrate how utterly soft and ineffectual someone is. It's usually used as an insult.
Christian Laettner acted like he was the second coming of Wilt Chamberlain, but in actuality he was as soft as a jelly donut.

Speak bigly and carry a soft stick 

Former President Donald Trump's guiding principle in foreign policy, as well as in the bedroom. The opposite of Teddy Roosevelt's "speak softly and carry a big stick".
"Diplomacy? Nah, I want to hurl insults at people on twitter! You know what I always say, speak bigly and carry a soft stick!

between a pillow and a soft place

Describes a situation where something has two meanings to you, both of which warm your heart.
Cousin 1: You know, you've become like a sister to me!
Cousin 2: Awww, I'm touched that you feel that way, plus I feel like I've gained a sister! It puts me between a pillow and a soft place!

Guy: Being with you makes me want to be a better person.
Gal: I'm between a pillow and a soft place hearing you say that.
More from Urban Dictionary

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
When your wife’s boyfriend let you sleep past 8pm 😎😎
Wife’s boyfriend: You have 5 more minutes
Me: Poggers!
Poggers by Just_Charles April 14, 2020
Word of the Day on October 26, 2026

Oblication 

A vacation, feeling more like an obligation, that involves visiting or staying with family.
So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.
Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011
Word of the Day on October 25, 2026
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