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scouseritis 

Evil disease causing the inflicted to behave like a scouse.

Symptoms include repeated ramblings such as "Calm down, Calm down" whilst dressing up in a shiny shell suit and robbing hubcaps off parked Ford Escorts. Sufferers commonly refer to their home as a scouse house. If symptoms go untreated the scouse louse disease may spread to known acquaintances or progress into rioting, grand theft auto or even muggings. The diseased are often seen eating bukkacake in public.
" Calm down calm down, keep your eyes out while I half inch these hubcaps but don't get bukkacake on me shell suit "!

" Oh My Gosh you're behaving like a scouse louse, you must have scouseritis!!!
scouseritis by TweenieGirl November 12, 2011
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Spouseitis 

Spouseitis is a serious illness caused by having a girlfriend or boyfriend and changing your entire personality and social media descriptions to be about that person. it gets worse when the infected break up or they make it to fourteen. fourteen year old girls infected with spoucsitis is seriously dangerous so if you know anyone with these symptoms take action ASAP. ( this is a joke dont take this seriously )
my friend has spouseitis.
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