To disagree, or assert the opposite.
(The original meaning was to DISPROVE something: "He refuted their claims by referring to widely accepted experimental results". But these days journalists who are unwilling or unable to assess the strength of an argument, or to check facts, just write "refute".)
"The Prime Minister refuted the suggestion that he was a fool, by saying that he wasn't."
by Jeeralangian April 4, 2006
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Basically any concrete aspect of reality which shatters the personal idealized image of a future scenario or occurrence, often one that is highly meaningful to the individual.

You see... while our minds often think in abstract simplistic ways, reality is often chaotic, abrupt, arbitrary, and outright disagrees with our ideals, thereby 'refuting' the idealized. Other times, reality can make your ideals seem hypocritical. It can be quite a sad and disappointing realization. It sometimes makes you want to lock yourself inside your own world even more, only to subject yourself to reality when needed or when you feel competent or wise enough.
An example of a 'refutation of the idealized' would be the idealized picture of a romantic relationship you've always dreamed about in your mind ever since you were a kid. This picture is then refuted later in your adult life when relationships gradually (or abruptly) show itself in a manner so complex and chaotic that your visionary mind simply cannot handle. This might make you want to give up relationships altogether. (remember this is just one example)

Of course, the solution is to gain wisdom and rewire our minds towards the principles of realism and cognitive-behavioral approaches, but we may not always be ready for this yet. We may never feel like we are. This self change will eventually come naturally; it should never come abruptly, as you might risk becoming a cynic and/or grow a machiavellian complex.

A reasonable dose of idealized quirky thinking is always healthy. Heck, even a couple spoonfuls more is good; it is what makes you ultimately you. Let realism guide you through life, but don't let it ever rule you.
by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian December 30, 2022
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