A shabby attempt at correcting a problem, which usually leads to bigger problems that could have been easily avoided by doing the job right the first time.
Problem: The condom broke.
Quick fix: Get down there and try to suck it out.
New problem: You just swallowed a bunch of jizz, you cum-guzzling idiot, and she's pregnant anyway.
Better idea: Give her the morning-after pill.
Problem: Too many ducks in your yard.
Quick fix: Use duck tape, thinking the ducks should be attracted to it.
New problem: Kids in the neighborhood used it to tape your son to a tree naked.
Better idea: Shoot those damn ducks with a sawed-off shotgun. That'll teach 'em.
Problem: You want a liter of cola. Not a 20-ounce bottle, not a 44-ounce big gulp, a fucking liter.
Quick fix: Jump over the counter, attack that burger punk, and start a crazy big mac-throwing riot.
New problem: That's assault, brother. You're in the slammer.
Better idea: Remind the kid that liter is French for "Give me some fucking cola before I break your fucking face!" Don't actually do it though.
Problem: Your arm is trapped under a slab of concrete, and you're starving.
Quick fix: Gnaw it off. That solves both problems.
New problem: You're handicapped and everyone laughs at you.
Better idea: Lift the cinder block off of your arm and walk to McDonald's across the street.
Quick fix: Get down there and try to suck it out.
New problem: You just swallowed a bunch of jizz, you cum-guzzling idiot, and she's pregnant anyway.
Better idea: Give her the morning-after pill.
Problem: Too many ducks in your yard.
Quick fix: Use duck tape, thinking the ducks should be attracted to it.
New problem: Kids in the neighborhood used it to tape your son to a tree naked.
Better idea: Shoot those damn ducks with a sawed-off shotgun. That'll teach 'em.
Problem: You want a liter of cola. Not a 20-ounce bottle, not a 44-ounce big gulp, a fucking liter.
Quick fix: Jump over the counter, attack that burger punk, and start a crazy big mac-throwing riot.
New problem: That's assault, brother. You're in the slammer.
Better idea: Remind the kid that liter is French for "Give me some fucking cola before I break your fucking face!" Don't actually do it though.
Problem: Your arm is trapped under a slab of concrete, and you're starving.
Quick fix: Gnaw it off. That solves both problems.
New problem: You're handicapped and everyone laughs at you.
Better idea: Lift the cinder block off of your arm and walk to McDonald's across the street.
by Nick D July 14, 2004
As in quick fix manager; a person who believes she or he has clear and concise views about anything when in reality they are simple and unsophisticated.
by winecod March 9, 2010
An ingenious creation by Spectrum Labs. This synthetic urine will pass any and
all drug tests that the bladder police can throw at you.
all drug tests that the bladder police can throw at you.
by thechillguy January 6, 2009
eve had become a junkie, and her rig was empty. she whored herself out for $20 so she could buy that quick-fix.
by Paul J Parkinson March 25, 2005
by Dakzig November 12, 2017
take the top layer of skin off with a knife and pour bleach on it
works for: poison ivy, chiggers, burns, cuts, scrapes, sunburn, chemical burns, AIDS, cancer, etc..
works for: poison ivy, chiggers, burns, cuts, scrapes, sunburn, chemical burns, AIDS, cancer, etc..
"DUDE! I had some wicked poison ivy, but i used Rash's Patented Quick Fix For Everything and got rid of it ASAP"
-"I think that chick last night might've had something. My crotch itches like hell."
+"You should try Rash's Patented Quick Fix For Everything"
-"OW!"
-"I think that chick last night might've had something. My crotch itches like hell."
+"You should try Rash's Patented Quick Fix For Everything"
-"OW!"
by rashakash July 11, 2008
A type of sex act involving a car battery, jumper cables, copious amounts of lubricant and a go-getter attitude. The act involves using the car battery as a means of electro-erotic stimulation, with a non flammable lubricant also being a requirement so that individuals partaking do not get lit on fire.
That guy I went home with last night turned out to be loads of fun once he gave me a good ol' Mechanic's Quick Fix.
by MurderDuck May 28, 2022