(N) When your poop is really hard and causes pain to the anus; usually causes constipation; can be very painful trying to push out.
Boss: Why are you late?!
Worker: Sorry boss! I was on the toilet, I had a brownie poo.
Boss: Ohh, why dont you take a seat? We all understand.
Worker: I dont think i can do that right now.. I still feel the burn...
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'