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polish a turd 

Methodology behind which junk mortgage backed securities were sold as AAA+ rated investments by Wall Street
Dilbert: Hey Trey! I've got this great idea about how to make even more money - we package up piece of shit mortgages as "investments".

Trey: Sounds like you'll be needing to polish a turd on that.
polish a turd by ItsAJohnson October 14, 2010

Polish a turd 

To describe something that no matter how much effort you put in to clean it... It will always be sh*t.
Boss: Deep clean the bleachers with soap and water.
Worker: Man, that's like 'polishing a turd'- regardless how clean we get them.. They will always get dirty.

Polish a turd- Alter something that can never be forgotten.

You can't polish a turd

You can't make something that's not naturally good great even with the hardest attempts.
"After years, he's just never going to change his selfish ways." "Well, you can't polish a turd!!"

Can't polish a turd 

Despite your best efforts, there are some things you just can't fix/improve.

To point out futile attempts to conceal/change the baisc nature of something.
1) Joe: Danny's back in town. He lost a bunch of weight, got a nose job, got hair plugs and now wears really flashy clothes but he's still one ugly motherfucker.

Jim: Well, you can't polish a turd.

2) The comb-over hairstyle
Can't polish a turd by henryj May 12, 2006

you can't polish a turd

trying to "fix up" a junky car.it cannot be done, give it up!
nathan, sell that cavi!you can't polish a turd!

you can't polish a turd

to try to "fix up" an ugly car, or to try to turn a compact rice burner into a race car.
i told that guy trying to pimp a cavi, "you can't polish a turd"
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
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