When you are dry humping your girlfriend before sex, you bust a mooseload inside your undies 5 min in. No sex occurs. So in panicked desperation you try to clean yourself up w the cum encrusted undies, therefore making yourself more cummy
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.