negligeence

Irresponsible behavior dat involves wearing a skimpy nightgown.

If you don't want guys to hit on you, da last thing ya'll wanna do is commit voluntary negligeence!

by QuacksO October 19, 2021

Window of negligence

The time period when a dereliction of duty occurs. Often, an ordinarily prudent member of an organization who normally exercises the level of care generally required for their position, will request that a window of negligence be granted by their superior due to time constraints or logistical complications. The partaker, in essence, is asking for a limited-time exemption from their expected responsibilities or in some cases, after dereliction has already occurred, leniency from their superior in regards to punishment for said subpar job performance that would’ve taken place within the window. The phrase was coined by Matt Fondiler on the 4/19/16 episode of “The Adam Carolla Show.”

INT. BRIDGE OF TITANIC – APRIL 14, 1912 02:40 GMT

(Captain rushes onto the bridge)

Captain: What was that scraping sound I heard while I was in the bathroom?

First mate: Sir, I think we hit an iceberg.

Captain: You think?! Weren’t you at the helm?

First mate: Er…uh…

Captain: Well weren’t you?!!

Second mate: I know where he was Captain.

First mate: You fink!!

Second mate: I may be a fink but at least I’m not some sexual deviant who gets his rocks off watching scrawny, working-class lads plow Rubenesque socialites in the backs of Renault CB Coupe de Villes down in the cargo hold.

First mate: I was merely protecting our passengers’ property.

Second mate: Yeah, then why was your dick in your hand?

Captain: Enough!! This is clearly my fault.

First mate: Now now, Captain.

Captain: No, I should’ve given you a smaller window of negligence while I dropped the Cosby kids off at the pool.

First mate: Cosby?

Captain: He’s a negro rapist in the future who played a beloved pussy doctor on telev---Nevermind that. Ready the lifeboats!

by griffin_t_a September 24, 2016

negligent discharge

1.) The accidental firing of a weapon. It usually occurs when firearms are given to idiots, small children, the mentally retarded, or Marines. Can result in bleeding wounds, severe maiming, and death.

2.) See "premature ejaculation". (Also prevalent in the Marine Corps)

When the DI handed Private Jimmy his M16, Jimmy dropped it and it went off. Jimmy just had a negligent discharge.

After Jimmy negligently discharged into his DI's asshole, he was discharged from the Corps.

by Vasily Andropov December 12, 2013

Negligent Friendacide

The term used when a friend has been extremely busy that they haven't been able to communicate regularly with their friends.

Ashley: Hey Brittany, have you heard from Nick lately?

Brittany: He's always at work. He's totally committing negligent friendacide.

by Slikniky August 11, 2013

choad negligent

Not paying attention to the choad area while giving a bj.

Hey, why don't you grab my choad while your giving me a bjer. You're totally being choad negligent

by Supercooldudeman April 1, 2009

Dishes Negligence

A behavior (tendency, habit or lone circumstance) when one or more parties fail to maintain a sanitary system of kitchen utensils.

I came home from vacation and threw up in my mouth because of my roommates dishes negligence.
see forkuation spoonuation

by kitchenspazz April 27, 2016

criminally negligent humor

Slipped into conversation like a stiletto between the ribs, an unintended yet nearly lethal joke.

She looked innocent, her blue eyes wide, and he never saw it coming, another taste of her criminally negligent humor. Sliding from the bed and falling to the floor, he begged, "Don't make me laugh! Please!" It was too late.

by Monkey's Dad March 26, 2023