my goatse brings all the boys to the yard

The power that a man with a large gaping asshole wields over those who lack this libido-stimulating rectal virtue. See goatse for details.

mortal: Wow! - your asshole is inflamed, gaping, and smells similar to a mixture of stagnant bloody stool and rotting fishheads. Can I touch?

goatse man: Tremble before me and worship, ye mortals. Lo! - my asshole shall enslave thee and thy brethren.