monkeys fuck

Not giving a damn

I couldn't give a monkeys fuck if he had two left feet

by rubyredpoppy January 9, 2016

monkeys trying to fuck a football

When a group of incompetent rejects can't handle the simplist task

Salesmen: We don't know what happened boss, we thought we had that guy for sure.

Salesmanager: You retards couldn't close a front door.

Salesmen: Sorry boss, we will do better next time.

Salesmanager: No you won't you peices of shit, you guys are like monkeys trying to fuck a football

by wamboozled October 10, 2014

fuck a monkeys bleeding butthole

Phrase spoken in times of shock, awe or disbelief, started by a man in middle tn after he witnessed another man witness the brutal gang rape of a female monkey by several males... He watched indifferently but offered no aid to the helpless monkey or her bleeding butthole....

Well fuck a monkeys bleeding butthole... I just shit my pants again for god sakes... Never trust a fart....

by Eviljay666 February 10, 2023

Monkey Fuck

when a cigarette is lit from another cigarette by putting the lit cigarette to the non-lit one and inhaling the non-lit cigarette

dude 1: can't find my lighter dude. can I monkey fuck your cig?

dude 2: go ahead

by ILoveChicken420 June 2, 2015

two monkeys fucking a football

When a pair of people are having extreme difficulty performing a task. Usually due to the complexity or physical effort of the task involved. Or the inability to get their efforts coordinated enough to complete the task.

Did you see those two trying to get that riding lawnmower off of that pickup truck? They looked like two monkeys fucking a football.

by slipsheet December 13, 2004

retarded monkey fuck

Someone who constantly repeats the same lame joke they've already told you 3,000 million times before, expecting that the 3,001 millionth time you're bound to laugh.

Retarded Monkey Fuck: Hey, what's brown and sticky?
Other Guy: I don't know, jackass. Why don't you tell me?
Retarded Monkey Fuck: A stick! Haha!
Other Guy: I'm so glad I have zoloft...

by Gerbilweebies April 29, 2005

fucked-up fuckup monkey fuck

Phrase made necessary by those people or situations that have surpassed conventional methods of assessment.

fucked up Def #1/5 fuck up Def #4 monkey fuck Def #1

1. An inept person who is totally incapable of living without fucking up or messing up everything within their grasp.
One whose actions has culminated in the acheivement of this, the highest plateau of fucking up.
2. When a situation is completely messed up from a-z and there is zero chance of recovery.

1. They put a fucked-up fuckup monkey fuck in charge who had no idea how to manage, so the place went tits-up.
2. The whole job had been ruined by mismanagement. There was absolutely nothing correct, and it was beyond salvage. It was a total fucked-up fuckup monkey fuck.

by T. Walsh / Ronan XVII January 4, 2005