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when you're trying to hold back a massive shit, you finally get to the bathroom and you have, what looks like a long monkey tail of shit hanging out of your ass. i.e turtle head
oh man, i gotta get to the shit house quick!!! i have a monkey tail hangin' out!
by tony January 28, 2004
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what happens after you see a hot female and then a really ugly female.

your penis becomes erect (when seeing a hot lady) and then curls like a monkey's tail (hence the name) when it sees a repulsive ugly women.

if the woman is ugly enough, your penis will assume the monkey tail position and never ever creep back out into the world as a regular working penis again. It happened to me and I sued the woman for being ugly.
My little johnny bravo became quite a flagpole when I saw the hot mom. Then her terribly ugly daughter came into view and the party in my pants was over. My penis had curled up like a monkey tail in a matter of seconds.
by jpabaloni November 21, 2006
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a name for a turd that is so long that it wraps around the inside of your toilet, giving it the appearance of a monkey's tail.
it has been so long since i crapped, when it comes out it'll be a monkey tail.
by FthisS August 11, 2009
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A shit so long and large that it reaches the bottom of the toilet while still connected to your ass.
My girlfriend ate so much yesterday, that when she took a shit, it was like a monkeytail.
by R L D November 02, 2006
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Monkeytail beards start at one ear and then wrap around your chin and mouth
Luke: What the heck is that thing on your face!? It looks like you just finished picking the ticks off a monkey's nuts with your teeth.

Wilger: This thing? It's my monkeytail beard!
by howlingmadwilger October 31, 2011
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When one sits too far back on the toilet therefore leaving a small lick of poo on the back of the seat
I had to wipe off a monkey tail at the police headquarters yesterday morning
by Crispin Whattley August 13, 2005
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