Produced 1975-2011
The flagship full-size sedan of the Mercury marque for the entirety of its lifetime that remained almost completely unchanged from 1983 onward. It was the mid-level variant of the
Ford panther platform, positioned between the Ford Crown
Victoria (LTD) and Lincoln Town
Car as a moderately upscale body-on-frame, V8 engined, six-passenger sedan. It was largely marketed toward an elderly demographic that appreciated its decidedly traditional appeal and didn't want to see it changed. Eventually, however, the generation who had kept it in production (and, realistically, the entire Mercury brand for that matter) died off and only a small but fierce
band of metro hipster cucks and southern hicks remained to petition its inexorable demise.
Notable features included: genuine fake
wood inserts on every
single interior dash and
door panel, superbly soft dual bench seats for elderly keisters, a chrome-clad three or four
speed automatic transmission column-shifter for ease of usage by arthritis-afflicted hands, a capacious trunk to be used for nothing other than hauling bags of hand-crocheted doilies, and an utterly isolating suspension and power-steering system to prevent intrusion of any kind from the outside world during the weekly twenty kilometer per hour joyride to the bingo hall.
Phyllis used to own a
blue '99
Mercury Grand Marquis--that is, until she backed it into the Sears display window. Her family always said that
car was too much for an old woman to handle.
