The male equivalent to Valentine's Day (February 14th), Steak n' Blowjob Day. Steak n' Blowjob Day relates to couples participating in the consumption of steak (mainly medium rare) and the female giving the male a blowjob for a minimum of 6 minutes (traditional countdown from mesoamerican holiday).
Bary: "Hey Martha! It's March 14th!"
Martha: "Bary you're asick fuck, I'm getting a divorce"
Bary: *unzips pants furiously* "Get to suckin'!"
Plankton: “Sorry about this calendar”(Plankton rips a page of a calendar) “March 14th! Wait, that’s not right? It should say the day that Krabs fries!”
Guy 1: Whoa, look at what today is!
Guy 2: It's March 14th, that clusterfuck of a kid's birthday!
Guy 1: Wasn't it their unlucky 13th?
Guy 2: Talk about Unlucky