While driving down the interstate, there was no obvious reason to take a pit
stop; however, after approaching the sign that read "Next Service Area - 24 miles," then the onset of intestinal distress occurred, as I passed the sign.
I clenched my ass cheeks as tightly together as my gluteal muscles would permit, rolled down the
windows, turned off the
heater and radio, and asked all occupants to "shut the fuck up" until these embryonic manifestations of defecation subsided. Unfortunately, this didn'
t happen, as I unleashed with a rectal fury and shit my drawers!