Place where people go to die....

And theres nothing to do but shop at the abundance of Walmarts, Publixs Badcock, Home Depots, or Sonics....
1: So what do you want to do tonight?
2: I dunno whats to do in Lakeland?
1: Die.
by Brandi January 9, 2005
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Synonymous with dead end. The most god awful part of the greater western hemisphere, with the worst taxi service.

A typical saturday night in Lakeland consists of a)Publix Supermarkets or b)getting shit faced in some backwoods barnhouse
If you really hate yourself, you gotta check out Lakeland!
by ulala March 31, 2006
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A place in Florida from which all evil in the Universe originates. It is the ominous spawning grounds of the deleterious Publix Corporation, hometown to murderer Ray Lewis, and the crappiest festival in the world, known as "Sun 'n' Fun."

Oh, and there's a lot of dumb emo kids around too.
Lakeland is the place where if you had a choice to live in Lakeland or North Dakota, you should pick North Dakota.
by Dennylicious November 26, 2004
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A small citish area in the middle of Florida. It has a lot of lakes, but not the most in the county. it was discovered by a guy named Munn a long time ago. There is not a huge amount to do, except go to the AMC (which is only $5.50, not the movies) and do large amount of nothing.
I hope you aren't going to Lakeland, it sucks.
by Ron_Thornbrash May 19, 2005
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A "city" in between Tampa and Orlando intersected by I4 which lacks in any originality and consists of only chain resturants and stores such as McDonalds and Waffle House. This is where Publix originated and is it's only claim to fame. The swan is Lakeland's symbol, no matter where you are in Lakeland, you can see a swan wether it be a real one being slaughtered by one of the local hicks or a statue of one colored or dressed to fit its particular location. Kau Kau Koner is a racist bar which is the only one in the area where you aren't as likely to be stabbed as the other shitty bars in the area. The reason for this is because it is the only one that the students of Florida Southern College can go to and make it back to school after a long nights drink. The downtown area is not entirely bad as long as you stay away from places such as Memorial Blvd, where you will be stampeded by homeless people morning, noon and night.
Thursday Night: "What do you want to do tonight?"
"Get drunk and go to Kaus"
Friday Night: "What do you want to do tonight?"
"Get drunk and go to Kaus"
Saturday Night: "What do you want to do tonight?"
"Get drunk and go to Kaus"

P.S. Don't go to Lakeland... Ever
by Lizzle Pizzle December 28, 2007
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A city that is in Polk County, Florida. It consists of Publix and mexicans. There is also a lot of Weeaboos.
Guy 1: "Let's take a vacation to Florida!"
Guy 2: "Fuck that, Florida sucks."
Guy 1: "But my buddy lives down in Lakeland, we can stay at his place!"
Guy 2: *shoots Guy 1*
by OGHarold July 1, 2015
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The most sophisticated rest stop in the eastern US. Located conveniently between Orlando and Tampa on I-4, and featuring numerous grocery stores and fast food chains, as well as several quality movie theaters, this little town appeared as a top-100 tourist attractins for 2005 in central-to-eastern florida, edging out disney world to make this prestigious list. see also bland,dull,emo, redneck,monotomy.
Hey, what do you say we stop in Lakeland to grab a sub from Publix and fill up on gas?
by MyNameIsBrad June 22, 2005
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