"The internets is not something that you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes." - Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska)
by The Evil Eye August 19, 2006
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A condition where one has an extreme obsession to be on the internet or be like people who they encounter on the internet. Similar to Text Talk.
1) Joe was diagnosed with internetitis after people recognized his habit of not leaving the computer for three days.

2) Steve was diagnosed with internetitis after people got tired of his internet speech, i.e. tl;dr, lol, ikr, idgaf, etc.
by Ilisten2Metal May 29, 2014
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The term, Internets, is used only when referring to the uber-secret internet used only by Government and Bush cronies, thus plural.

Dear Reader, the internet you are now on is not the secondary one but the primary one invented by Al Gore. You are on the internet versus the internets.
"I hear there's rumors on the internets..."

--George W. Bush at the Presidential Debate
by Lace Valentine October 9, 2004
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George W Bush's name for the internet. It's mentioned in one of the other definitions on this page that his usage is correct. This is purely accidental. Coming from someone who was frighteningly intelligent and a brilliant orator, one might be tempted to give him the benefit of the doubt. But coming from someone who is profoundly unable to form sentences, say 'nuclear', ride bikes, ride Segways or eat pretzels, it's safe to assume that this is just another in a long line of oratorical train wrecks for poor old Bush Jr.
orig.: 'I hear there's rumors on the internets..'

contemp.: 'lol internets'
by frat curl June 23, 2005
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1.) The only reason 99.9% of people bought a computer.
2.) The solution to everything.
3.) My only friend.
1.) If it weren't for the internet, I would've never spent $700 on this laptop.
2.) Horny? Hook up to the internet for some porn.
Too lazy to do / don't understand your homework? Look up the answers on the internet.
Procrastinating? Go on Youtube.
3.) Usually, people go out to have fun on Fridays after work. But me? I go on the Internet.
/forever alone
by foreveralonexoxo February 5, 2012
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The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.
by Gumba Gumba April 6, 2004
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