History's Hemorrhoid 

History's Hemorrhoid aka Donald Trump

Before Vladimir Putin squeezed his pet turd into the oval office, history's hemorrhoid once crapped his elderly pants while on a golf course.

History's Hemorrhoid by phathatcat October 1, 2018

History’s Best Vocalist 

Francis George

Guy: who’s history’s best vocalist ever?
Girl: Oh, that’s easy, Francis George!

History’s Best Vocalist by Jackson Mehoff III, PHD September 7, 2022

Canada's History 

A sex act performed often by members of Canada's high society in which maple syrup is poured generously onto the crotch of the willing female, who then mounts the face of a moose by holding onto its antlers. The Moose encouraged by the presence of the sweet syrup performs cunnilingus on the woman while the Stanley Cup is positioned below to collect the drippings. Once a sufficient volume is collected the willing male participant dips his erect phallus into the cup prior to insertion into the Moose's anus (preferably before the Moose has slurped up all the syrup). Depending upon the size of the phallus inserted into the Moose, one of two results will occur:

(1) the Moose will become agitated to some degree of insanity and attempt to buck off both the man and woman. At this point, if the couple lasts at least 8 seconds and both reach the point of orgasm, they win the Stanley Cup. This is referred to as the "Two Canucks, One Cup" Rodeo.

(2) the Moose will become aroused, and will proceed to insert itself into the female. If the female is unwilling, a suitable midget replacement will suffice.

Oh, snap! Did you see Steven Colbert and Sarah Palin do Canada's History to Bullwinkle while Rocky watched?

Canada's History by wizztopizz February 9, 2010

Australia's History 

1. A sex act where a passive partner finds the biggest prison dweller he can possibly find, to reunite with him in a darkest, dampest, most isolated dungeon that can be procured. the big guy then binds the passive one's limbs with barbed wire, sews a perfectly crafted miniature union jack on his right tit, gets a good hold of him and furiously rams him down under while both chant "God Save the Queen" in perfect unison. The passive partner then runs away jumping like an injured kangaroo and mooing like a pained cow., until he finds a bush and shits behind it like a camper. He then yells the big guy to get over there so that he can suck his dick. Bonus point if finding black people on the course of the act, pushing them out of the blue as hard as possible and then throwing alcohol/drugs on them while saying "I am a true gentleman". Be careful to run fast before they have a chance to react though, or the whole day spent on your fun Australia's History could be ruined.

1. William: I did Australia's History last night. I got the stud's number and everything.
Noah: I never have done that. It sounds... gay
William: u wot m8? Where's your patriotic spirit cunt? Don't you have love for this country!?

Australia's History by SHITCOCK April 4, 2015

Canada's History 

The most depraved sexual act known to mankind kept as a hidden secret from Canada to preserve its' innocence. In detail, the ******** are inserted into ******* using the ******* with ******** moose antlers ****** **** ***** maple syrup **** ***** around five times ***** *** ******* until the **** ***** affectionately called "the Mounties" use **** ***** all over the ****. The resulting **** ***** *** ****** are then used as lubricant for ******** **** **** into ****** **** **** with ***** **** **** Stanley Cup.

I can't believe we just did Canada's History.

Canada's History by EvilLepper February 5, 2010

Canada's History 

a sexual act designed to tell a story through symbolic devices: specifically in this case, that story is the history of Canada. As an element of foreplay, the man pours some maple syrup on the woman's body, and licks it off of her abdomen, breasts, nipples, and vulva in that respective order. In honor of Samuel De Champlain's voyage by canoe through Lake Nipissing, the man rubs is penis lengthwise along the woman's vulva, and she bears down hard to spray his genitals with her urine. Then the man and woman perform oral sex on each other, burying their faces in each other's pubic hair, representing the fur trade. The man has intercourse with the woman doggy style, while slapping her buttocks vigorously, representing the French and Indian Wars. He also fists the woman's vagina; however she subsequently fists the man's anus; this exchange represents the War of 1812. After this point in history, Canada is known mostly for participatory, but not pivotal roles in world affairs. Therefore, any combination of missionary position and fingering are used to bring the woman to orgasm, representing the post-WWII prosperity of the country. Finally, the man ejaculates all over the woman's face, representing the sovereignty of Quebec.

Wife: I just feel like there isn't any excitement in our sex life, eh.

Husband: I think it's that we just don't have enough energy after all our other responsibilities, eh, the kids, work.

Marriage Counselor: Like I haven't heard that a trillion fucking times, eh!! You two should learn Canada's History like any responsible citizens would! Now get the fuck out and fuck!!!

Canada's History by Guffaw February 5, 2010

Canada's history 

This terrifying, little-practiced sex act requires elaborate staging and great acrobatic strength. First, the nude, submissive participant stands before the Stanley cup. The submissive lowers their head into the cup. The dominant participant approaches from behind with a decanter of warmed maple syrup, which is poured liberally onto the head and genitals of the submissive. Using thinly-sliced Canadian bacon as a prophylactic, the dominant penetrates the anus of the submissive with the body part or object of their choice, while simultaneously scoring the submissive's back with the antlers of a moose. Coitus ensues. Traditionally, the climax of either partner is marked by shouting the name of the band Rush's singer and bass player, "Geddy Lee!"

Right after my partner marked me with the Dirty Sanchez, I retorted with a Canada's history.

Canada's history by dragonfucker February 6, 2010