foroscope 

A weather forecast that might as well be a horoscope. I.e., the "meteorologist" has zero idea how your day will go when it comes to climate, but makes a bold prediction, anyway - which is almost always wrong.

Foroscope example: "It's going to be minus-fifty on Tuesday, so bundle up!", when it actually turns out to be sunny and warm.

foroscope by Socklamb January 11, 2018

Horoscope 

Bullshit

Horoscope isn't real

Horoscope by Dat🅱️oi March 21, 2020

horoscope 

A bunch of hokey pokey witchcraft made up by hippies.

There goes Madison again, reading her stupid horoscope for the day.

horoscope by Bobby Freakin Hill April 23, 2017

horoscope 

A load of horseshit.

My Facebook friends spam my news feed with horoscopes and I just want to punch them in the face

horoscope by Falsifications August 20, 2016

horoscope 

A vague and nonspecific prediction of the future.

What you might find in your horoscope:

"You are somewhat tall"

"You will meet someone today and they will seem nice"

What you will not find in your horoscope:

"Today you will find out you are adopted, if not today then it is only a matter of time. Seriously, you look nothing like your so-called "parents." You will also lose your job, and an unspecified limb."

"Men in masks will break in to your home and force you to play trivial pursuit, the fact that they seem to get all the easy questions will irk you. Make ready, you will soon be called upon to defend the entire species from certain destruction."

horoscope by The Definitionizer December 9, 2006

Horoscope 

Telescope that can only see whores

"A horoscope, what's that a telescope that can only see your face..."

Horoscope by Avocado_ Alien July 16, 2018

Horoscope 

A forecast of someone's future. Typically based on the month or year that they were born in.

This website is filled with tons of fucking advertisements that claim to give you a horoscope.

Horoscope by Another jealous gay fag March 4, 2016