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Einstein's *very* Special Theory of Relativity 

An advanced sexual maneuver whereby your girlfriend deep-throats you far enough down that your pubes look a bit like an Albert Einstein mustache on her upper lip, and then she recites Albert Einstein quotes as best she can.
"God does mmph play mppphhh."

"Mmmmphhh equals mmmmmphhh C sqummmph"

-Probable utterances by a person performing Einstein's *very* special theory of relativity.

Einstein's theory of relative titty 

The more closely related to you a female is, the larger her breasts have to be for you to be enticed to get all incestual with her. As it is generally frowned upon in most cultures to bome one's sister, said sister's breasts would need to be the size of basketballs in order to tempt one into doing so. However, a fourth cousin twice removed might have non-existent breasts, but one would have no qualms about shagging her, as the two parties share only a dash of genetic material (in her vagina).
'Dude, Einstein's theory of relative titty is definitely factual as no sooner had Mum had her double D boob job, then I was on top of her sending my penis back from whenst it came (her vagina). Then I came.'

Einstein's Theory of Textivity

When you and the other person are texting answers or responses to each others' last text, but the conversation makes no sense and is completely out of sync.
Einstein's Theory of Textivity

Einstein's Folly 

Description of Einstein's theory of relativity's one limitation in which special relativity is unable to apprehend compositive light and general relativity is unable to measure the distance between any two photons in a single line.
Einstein's Folly states that general relativity is unable to measure the distance between any two trienes or Riemann time-series in a Riemann function.
Einstein's Folly by metastatic March 15, 2022

Einstein’s carrot 

A term for when someone tries to recite a fact but uses the wrong information for the context.
Isint the law of gravity from when Einstein was under the tree and a carrot hit his head?

No, that’s Einstein’s carrot!

Albert Einstein's brother 

a person who has accomplished virtually nothing in comparison to another person close to them, such as a sibling or a friend
Albert Einstein's mom: (on the phone) Oh hello, Albert! . . . The Theory of Relativity! Oh my! . . . You explained the photoelectric effect? . . . Nominated for a Nobel Prize for Physics! . . . Thats wonderful Albert! Absolutely wonderful! . . . Alright, love you too Albert! Goodbye!" (hangs up)
Albert Einstein's brother: (racing down the stairs) Mother! I just received my report card, I got A's in all of my classes!"
Albert Einstein's mother: But did you solve some the greatest questions in physics?
Albert Einstein's brother: I-I got all A's, mom.
Albert Einstein's mother: (sobs) . . . WHY CAN'T YOU BE HIM! (runs away crying)
Albert Einstein's brother: . . . damn f***ing smart piece of sh**. Where's the blowdryer? I'm going to go take a bath.