A couch guru is an individual who lives on your couch and provides nuggets of wisdom, advice, and the dankest weed hook-ups. The couch guru sustains themselves by consuming Mountain Dew, Doritos and porn. Example: the guy on the couch from Half Baked.
My couch guru hooked me up with a new water bong and advised me on how to fix my relationship with my father.
by Colberttoldmeto February 28, 2016
A person with no permanent residence, who appeals to the sympathy of people who do not want to see the person officially homeless and on the streets, but who refuses to take advice or work to change their situation, attitude or actions in any meaningful way. They move from couch to couch, (house to house) staying until they either wear out their welcome or the homeowners rules become to burdensome. Really onerous and over the line rules like "Clean up after yourself" or "If you can't contribute with $ right now, how about some housework?" or "Stop playing online games all day and Fbooking all day and look for a job!"
Man, I thought I could help John, but he is just a couch lounger!
How long you gonna let that couch lounger hang out at your crib eating your grub?
Is John still at your house? No that couch lounger split when I told him he had to wash dishes and do laundry for his rent! He called his uncle and whined to him about sleeping under a bridge and now he is lounging on his uncles couch!
How long you gonna let that couch lounger hang out at your crib eating your grub?
Is John still at your house? No that couch lounger split when I told him he had to wash dishes and do laundry for his rent! He called his uncle and whined to him about sleeping under a bridge and now he is lounging on his uncles couch!
by Quarterhorse1961 November 28, 2016
by CertFix December 6, 2014
by DrMonkNugget124 June 20, 2023
Typically these people are out of shape, all bark no bite, and they spend too much time online as a keyboard warrior ready to go to Valhalla after dying in a video game battle. They may be neo nazis, they may be incels, they may be 4chan users, etc... Some couch vikings love spiritual warfare because it's the only type of warfare you can do while sitting on your ass.
by Temiz August 14, 2023
When you buy a new couch for your living area and invite friends / family to sit and flatulate on it as a sign of initiation and good luck.
by Dinuel October 1, 2023
by Sarah&Dan March 20, 2010