captain dildo 

The person that wants to jam a dildo up your ass when you are passing seated people at the movies

"not today, not today, not today captain dildo" - dane cook (vicious circle)

captain dildo by evansd September 15, 2009

Captain Dildo 

Someone that is so uptight about everything that it seems like they are walking around with a dildo in their ass all the time.

Guy 1: "Man have you heard Garrett lately?

Guy 2: "Yea, he can be strict, but he doesn't have to act like Captain Dildo all the time!"

Captain Dildo by DONOVAN94 August 25, 2011