certainty

The quality of being something declared as being true that will be proved as being false the next day.
"The thing that is clear to us and that we can say with certainty is that this plane was not hit by a missile."

CAOI - 10th January 2020
by Facette January 11, 2020
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Certainty Pimp

Someone who sells "certainty" on a particular issue to gain money or power -- usually a politician, pundit or preacher. Certainty Pimps don't like shades of gray because they force people to think for themselves.
Did you see that Certainty Pimp on TV? He says the recent cold snap is proof that global warming is a complete hoax.
by Peter Kobs January 17, 2009
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the certainty principle

The Certainty Principle is a cosmic force only recently discovered by a nerd with stupiditis. It is the principle of being certain. Even though you are a complete idiot and have no idea what you are doing, you are certain you are right. Many people believe they are certain, or right, when in actual fact they are just downright stupid and suffer from brain haemorrhoids. If you meet someone who suffers from the Certainty Principle, execute them onsite as they may do something stupid.
Idiot: The Certainty Principle protects me
Smart Person: Fuck you're an idiot and deserve to die
Gun shot finishes conversation
by honneamise December 20, 2018
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Nazi Certainty

An absolute certainty of one's own righteousnous, even in the face of facts that show that it is horribly wrong.
Young Liberals during the Trump era have a Nazi Certainty about them. They're sure that their violence and anti-establishment behavior is getting them a brighter tomorrow. But like Hitler's Nazis, these stupid little people are only tools for destructive leaders who will dispense of them the minute they aren't useful anymore.
by geekmalone March 18, 2020
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Absolute Certainty

What I have regarding whether or not I'm going to murder a child and kill myself if I do not receive credit and payment for creating AI. I don't even care if I did it or not at this point and neither does Miley Cyrus.
Hym "And I can say that is a matter of absolute certainty. I will kill YOUR kid. THEIR kid. ANY RANDOM KID. I doesn't matter. And if that credit and payment isn't attached to a full accounting of this surveillance that is happening to me and whatever information is available on the targeted harassment the resembles the delusions of reference commonly associated with schizophrenia, I will spend every send on cheap prostitutes and kill a child anyone. You can double dog dare me on that one because I am always ready to hang myself and if I loose a single right that I have for ANY reason whatever, I will ALSO kill a child."
by Hym Iam April 30, 2025
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