A large denomination in the religion of Christianity that has smaller factions such as Missionary Baptists and Southern Baptists. This is not a denomination that is predominantly composed of Southern Whites, contrary to popular beliefs and opinions. Instead, it is a widespread religion that is practiced by many people here (Ohio River Valley) in the Midwest, the Northeast, all of The North, the West Coast, and even over in Europe. It is one of many Protestant (Non-Catholic) groups that are Christian, are being Baptist is also a great thing to be.
Baptists are devout Christians who know Jesus is the Savior as well as the only son of God. They go by the teachings of the Bible, worship God AND Jesus, and have accepted Jesus into their heart and experience the miracles and love of God, who is the ONE AND ONLY true god.
by The Kentucky Yankee December 9, 2004
Cathilics are all knowing because they learn everything behind the bible.
Baptists know the Bible, that's it.
Baptists know the Bible, that's it.
by TubaMasta March 17, 2009
something thats not catholic; synonomous with high divorce rates, jerry falwell (with his mother in the outhouse) and mainly hypocritical, holier than thou bullshit. see every religion tries to prove its better...in the end catholocism wins by a billion and a half so you baptists can go to hell, which is where your goin when jesus bitch slaps you down to satan...you know what, ill do it, your not worty of jesus' hand...i offically call dibs on the baptist bitch-slaper to hell guy
Jesus: i see your here for the profesional Bitch Slaping Baptist job?
Me: Yes.
Jesus: Why Should i Hire You?
Me: Because you dont have to get your hands dirty in southern redneck inbreds whose lives center around being punished to hell, so i figured id give them what they want
Jesus: I Like your Style, Lets See How Well You do, how does tuesday sound?
Me: No Problem
Jesus: Ok From Now on You are now my Pimphand Bitchslapper...if they ask, tell 'em J hired you and give them a ton of hope that they'll get into heaven, then bitchslap them into satans asshole...
me: Sounds Good
Jesus: Peace, im going to go with peter to bless some kids or some shit like that
me: see u around...
2. " did not have sex with my mother in an outhouse...it was my father"-Jerry Falwell
Me: Yes.
Jesus: Why Should i Hire You?
Me: Because you dont have to get your hands dirty in southern redneck inbreds whose lives center around being punished to hell, so i figured id give them what they want
Jesus: I Like your Style, Lets See How Well You do, how does tuesday sound?
Me: No Problem
Jesus: Ok From Now on You are now my Pimphand Bitchslapper...if they ask, tell 'em J hired you and give them a ton of hope that they'll get into heaven, then bitchslap them into satans asshole...
me: Sounds Good
Jesus: Peace, im going to go with peter to bless some kids or some shit like that
me: see u around...
2. " did not have sex with my mother in an outhouse...it was my father"-Jerry Falwell
by Alex Curtis June 6, 2006
Baptist is a denomination of Christianity (sometimes called Protestant) that rejects infant Baptism. They practice Believer's Baptism through immersion. A Believer is someone who has accepted and believes that Jesus Christ is their personal savior who died to atone for their sins. Baptists believe in The Trinity. The Trinity means there is one God made up of 3 different beings who are the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Pentecostal: Why don't you dance in church?
Baptist: Because I'm a Baptist.
Methodist: My preacher's gay. We believe that gay people can be preachers too.
Baptist: Your preacher will go to Hell is he doesn't repent of his sin and accept Christ.
Guy: What bible do you read?
Baptist: KJV
Baptist: Because I'm a Baptist.
Methodist: My preacher's gay. We believe that gay people can be preachers too.
Baptist: Your preacher will go to Hell is he doesn't repent of his sin and accept Christ.
Guy: What bible do you read?
Baptist: KJV
by Crytek June 14, 2011
People who run around and conscript people into their religious clan by luring them using little curses or actions.
1. Someone wore a baby blue shirt and became the big white hype without them knowing. Thost baptists!
2. I ate a hamburger and all of a sudden I am considered part of the gay community. I was baptized into the gay community.
2. I ate a hamburger and all of a sudden I am considered part of the gay community. I was baptized into the gay community.
by GhostScripter July 8, 2010
"Are you out of the closet?"
"No, my family is Baptist and drag me to church 2 times a week."
"Oof."
"No, my family is Baptist and drag me to church 2 times a week."
"Oof."
by PleaseHelpWhyMe April 4, 2018