Redonkulously early in the morning. Often it is still dark out. Commonly used when one must wake up early after a night of drinking, or getting up to go on a trip. Also can be referred to "Oh dark hundred"
Person 1: "Dude, what time do we have to get up tomorrow?"
Person 2: "The freaking ass crack of dawn."
The asscrack of dawn is the time of day just before the crack of dawn when it is just about still dark; it is the time at which one might get out of bed if attending an urgent appointment at the crack of dawn.
John woke up at the asscrack of dawn with the intent to get to the shops just as they opened for the post-christmas sales in order to avoid getting trampled buy eager bargain-hunters.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.
For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.
Rumours were flying everywhere, so she went northstarring — one checked fact at a time.