7
While the service does suck dogshit, and is incredibly slow at times, and is full of glitches, the REAL fun comes when you are cancelling your membership, because the representatives will do anything to keep you using the AOL service, and they don't seem to understand the word "NO".
Joe: I would like to cancel my AOL membership.
AOL Rep: Why?
Joe: I have found AOL to be expensive for my budget and I am switching to a cheaper alternative instead.
AOL Rep: $28 a month is not expesive!
Joe: It is when you are a college student, and if NetZero and Juno are offering the same Internet package for $15 a month.
AOL Rep: Alright. How about we just sign you to our Netscape plan for $19.99?
Joe: No thank you.
AOL Rep: Um....how about you tell us exactly how long you will not be using AOL?
Joe: Not ever again.
AOL Rep: You know, you are ruining my chance to get another pay bonus.
Joe: And I could care less. Please just cancel my account already.
AOL Rep: Shit! he's not as gullible as we thought.....did I just say that out loud?
Joe: Yup.
by sarcastic August 21, 2004
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8
a company that sends you free drink coasters.
person00: hey, we got a new aol coaster. this one is 6.5 it must be better than our last 4.0 coaster.

person01: cool, ill add it to the other 300 we have.
by someguy December 13, 2003
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9
1. America On-Line, one of the first ISP's available for mainstream US. It is not very well liked, and is usually very slow. Put out "free" software through the mail almost monthly for a time, leaving many with useless extra discs. Still around today, AOL is now riddled with problems such as its lack of speed, annoyance of use, and its bad reputation.


*NOTE: Not to be confused with AoL, which is short for the second game in the Legend of Zelda series, "Adventure of Link" for the NES, which introduced RPG elements (i.e, leveling up) into the series.*
*annoying dial-up noise*

You've got mail.

*computer crashes*
by eMPTy³ February 16, 2004
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10
The worlds most widespread computer virus. Packaged with almost every software, and even your magazines, and your personal mail, it is impossible to avoid. Al-Quaeda supports AOL. BURN THE AOL BEFORE THEY ATTACK AGAIN!
The AOL Virus Version 9.0 just came in the mail! Throw it in the AOL Crematorium!
by Alex June 04, 2004
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11
Almost On Line

It's so fun to get these free disks in tin boxes. It serves many purposes.
1. You can use the disks as (but not limited to) frisbees, ornaments, anger management, and food.
2. The tin boxes can be all of the above mentioned and also pet cages.
Radio Talk Show Host (RTSH): Hello, Mike?
Mike (M): Hey. I have a problem with my internet.
RTSH: Well Mike, what type of internet do you have?
M: AOL...
RTSH: AHA! I think I've already found your problem!
M: REALLY!?
RTSH: Yep, didn't you know AOL stands for Almost On Line? You gotta use the real stuff man.

(This was an actual conversation on a radio talk show station in Arizona, USA)
by Zuki December 25, 2004
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12
The worse ISP there is, if you could even call it an ISP. It is the boyband of ISP's i.e. Annoying, gay, used by small children...And yet I'm stuck with it...For now, the free six months is almost up, then I'm moving to a real ISP. Although I must say, AOL version 8.HOE doesn't boot me as much as AOL version 5.HOE used to...
Guy 1: "You have AOL?!"
Guy 2: "Yeah..."
Guy 1: "Let us pray for your soul."
by Krisis December 07, 2003
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13
An incredibly slow, expensive spyware adding, CPU killing piece of shit piece of software. It acts like a virus in that it has several processes that restart each other when you manually try to remove them, it sticks itself to your registry making it nearly impossible to fully remove it. The message boards and AIM users are 99% fucktards. when you uninstall it, it leaves more spyware and adware. The "so called" top of the line spam filter only blocks the email you want, not the actual spam that will ALWAYS get through. While this piece of shitware does have a better looking, that fails to make up for the fact that AOL blows. If you are on AOL, change now. ANYTHING out there is better. I guarantee it. Even the biggest internet noobs shoulnt use AOL, because it kills your computer. And if you do decide to leave, they will ty to give you useless offers and dotn take no for an answer.
people who use AOL just got thier comp owned
AOL and all who made it should go fuck themselves.
"Oh look, another AOL cd, i guess i have another coaster"
by noname May 05, 2005
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