Almond Joy 

A black guy who acts white.

You heard Jamal is an almond joy? Black on the outside but white on the inside.

Almond Joy by Squirtle1200 November 10, 2022

Almond Joy 

The male version of a camel toe where you can see the outline of the dudes junk from pants that are too tight.

Dude, check out Tim's Almond Joy. No wonder he's always depressed.

Almond Joy by Duane Ball May 17, 2004

almond joy 

The act of deceiving a receptive sexual partner into thinking you're unwrapping and putting on a condom, while in reality you're simply unwrapping and consuming a candy bar. Success depends in large part on your partner's non-visualization of your hands and penis, either by means of a darkened room or sexual positioning (e.g. doggy style), as well as lack of familiarity with the feel of a bare vs. sheathed penis. May be additionally satisfying if you're able to consume the candy bar while actively having bareback intercourse.

"Sarah was drunk and totally DTF last night, but I didn't have any jim hats on hand, so I just turned off the lights and pulled an almond joy."

"My blind girlfriend was a virgin before we dated, so I felt pretty comfortable giving her an almond joy without risking an STD."

That dude doesn't like to bareback, but he's so high on ecstasy he doesn't even know that the guy behind him just slipped it in almond joy style.

almond joy by SchlitzKicker January 9, 2011

Almond Joy 

A man's "package" in his pants. Like a ladies "Camel Toe"

His pants are so tight you can see his almond joy!

Almond Joy by Joni Simpson November 12, 2003

almond joy 

A white mans penis, with lumps.

Bro, let me eat your almond joy.

almond joy by GIngyboi June 1, 2020

Almond Joy 

To ejaculate on a piece of fecal matter, preferably human feces.

Jhon: Richard! Did you make another almond joy in the bathroom?
Richard: I'm sorry, I couldn't help it.

Almond Joy by Lemonade Man420 April 22, 2020

almond joy 

A situation in which a man's testicles might shift to a position that is very uncomfortable and requires adjusting.

Rick totally forgot how deep my car seats were the other day and gave himself an almond joy.

almond joy by destructoid user February 25, 2008