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if you live here you know that it is tight you just gotta know what to do with you time here, go to farm parties and rep west meda boys.. naw im kidding but on the real alameda is a hella little island next to oakland and the beach smells like sewage. you should go there though its tight.
alameda made a t-shirt that says "where the hell is alameda?"...that says something...
by meda bitches August 25, 2006
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An increasingly yuppie little island town in the Bay Area. What you will find; SF transplants, awesome restaurants, old homes, and tree lined streets. What you won't find; affordable housing,big box stores, or much crime. However, having Oakland right across the water does cause some spillage of ghettoness.But it does seem like the gap between the two cities is getting wider and wider by the second.
"Duded what did that bumper sticker say?"
"Alameda, Where hipsters go to breed."
by chuck 02 February 17, 2008
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Alameda is the little brother of the Bay Area. The whole Bay Area is widely known except for them.

It's filled with the most boring group of people that exist while still being a terrible place. You have potheads that can't think about anything else, people struggling to live because of the expense, and people who try to hurt anyone they can.

Alameda high school is a cesspool of hate towards outsiders and will purge you through beating you up and raping you multiple times while the teachers turn a blind eye. They don't bother educating many of their students, simply giving them the answers to the tests and letting them skip to the next grade is how they do things. The teachers talk behind students backs about how annoying they are when they have special needs. The band program is such garbage that even a prodigy of a prestigious school couldn't prosper.

Everything is closed before 8:30pm because the people there don't feel like doing anything but smoke.

The food choices here are terrible. It tries so hard to be diverse only to accomplish the opposite. We have Chinese food, Thai food, and some pizza. That's it.

The grocery stores are known to be the worst grocery stores in North America. Safeway has two lines open ever, underpays, and understaffs.

You will be silenced if you ever say anything against the collective Alamedan will. Examples: beatings, rape, and fabrication of information.

The worst town in California.
Moving to Alameda effectively ruined my life.

Alameda is where individuals go to die.

Alameda will stamp out any sense of joy the moment it is found
by sunfeatherx3 May 05, 2019
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A lame-ass small town in California, but for some reason the coolest people live there.
Why are the finest girls all from Alameda?
by GangGangYo December 15, 2018
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The place that everyone hates. A dinky little bitch hole island in California, which has next to nothing to do, unless you count going to the disgusting beach. Oh, and our flag has an anchor on it. Do you need more proof that this place janky?
1.I just went into the beach water and now I hella have herpes.

2.Add a y to Alameda, and you get.."A lame day."
by Katie Lee May 09, 2006
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The stupidest place ever where people think they are cool because thye immitate people from Oakland and they wish they were them, but they are actually really bored so all they do is smoke and smell bad and hit on girls they'll never have. Of course, most of the girls are easy and practically all of the guys are stoners that think theyre ghetto. I dont know one decent person that lives in Alameda, and I live there...
Kid 1: Aww my god I went to Alameda last night
Kid 2: Naawww bblud, tight shit huh?
Kid 1: Hell yaaaa
by Montoria June 07, 2006
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The best school in the world.There cross country team is great and they are have cute girls and the best teachers you will ever meet
Barnard said alameda is great
Shane said ya it is
by Bloka October 02, 2019
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