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Two Seconds 

The amount of time required to complete a task one has failed to complete, and is being scolded about.
Teacher: Why can't you write your name legibly on your tests? It only takes Two Seconds to write your name.

Boyfriend: Why can't you hurry up and finish? I'm sitting here banging it out, and you can't take Two Seconds to finish?
Two Seconds by suecra13 November 10, 2011
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Two Seconds

It means to wait or anticipate a longer period of time than the elliptical expression “one second”. How long is “one sec”. Now double that and you have “two seconds”. It’s a way to tell your friend or someone to wait a lil longer and it will take “two seconds” instead of “one second”. If you were going for more than 5 minutes I would consider than “2 seconds”.
“I’ll be out in 2 seconds.”
“Give me two seconds and ill be right back
Two Seconds by Catchyobich November 25, 2025

two seconds please 

The universally way of knowing that you're fucked. Popularized by celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay.
"Hey you, Two seconds please." - Chef Ramsay

two seconds (bro) 

the act one gives when wanting you to chill out either becuase you want to go or him to shut up when he is telling a gay story he wants to keep saying
ramzy, hury the fuck up lets go

two seconds bro

shut the fuck up and get in the car.
two seconds (bro) by GTS February 27, 2004

Two seconds thick 

Refers to something that is very thin.
Nancy's hair is two seconds thick.
Two seconds thick by Cocoa J November 1, 2018

Two Seconds In Jersey. 

The fact that anyone weaker than you wouldn't last two seconds in jersey.
Hey Billy whats wrong?", "My mom just passed away....".,"You wouldn't last Two Seconds In Jersey.

One Fucking Two Seconds 

1. A measure of time.

2. More specifically, the amount of time it would take "Diesel Dan" to fuck up someone who has pissed him off.

3. This unit of time, being so quick, has yet to be calculated to an exact length. Still, researchers and witnesses to an event lasting one fucking two seconds have concluded that it is undoubtedly shorter than a New York minute, blink of an eye, two shakes of a lambs tail, and Superman in flight, which also by default makes it faster than a speeding bullet.
"Fuck that. I'll fuck him up in one fucking two seconds!"