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Tighter Than Dick's Hatband 

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An old southern idiom. Could be used to identify a place that is empty, a person who is wound up, or any number of situations where the word "tight" is used. Nobody seems to know who Dick was. Apparently he had a tough time keeping his hat on his head.
I went and checked that place you told me about. They've closed up tighter than dick's hatband. Have been for years.
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Tighter than Dick's Hatband 

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Refers to Dick Tracy's Hat. He could jump out of a plane and his hat wouldn't move.
That lid is tighter than Dick's hatband
Related Words
Tighter Than Dick's Hatband • Tighter than dick skin • Tighter than 2 coats of paint • Tighter than a Beringer • Tighter than a camels hole in a sandstorm • Tighter than a Cat's Ass • tighter than a clam's ass • Tighter than a clam with lockjaw • Tighter than a crab's ass • tighter than a duck's ass

Tighter Than Dick's Hatband 

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"Tighter than dick's hatband" should be "tighter than a dick's hatband" and could be written as "tighter than a detective's hatband". A phrase referring to the band on their hat and has nothing to do with the male anatomy. I believe this is a Prohibition Era phrase.
It fit tighter than dick's hatband. This should be "It fit tighter than a dick's hatband".
Tighter Than Dick's Hatband by TGadgetS February 18, 2017

tighter than dick's hatband 

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A lot of people don't seem to know what dicks hatband is. It actually refers to a male penis, the hat being a condom and the the band ofcourse being the rubber band at the base of the condom.
Bro, she not gonna let you hit. She keeps that shit tighter than dick's hatband.
tighter than dick's hatband by sdotx January 20, 2015
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Respectfully 

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Precedes or follows either a gratuitously disrespectful or honest remark, originated in New York City. Used in similar fashion to "no offense" or "to be honest," interchangeably.
Ya mans is wild buns, respectfully. Respectfully he's washed.

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You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

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A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.
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crunchy 

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Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

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