The Press
"The Press" is the politically correct term for a group of dishonest, conniving, scandalous photographers and journalists who send their articles and photos to trashy magazine companies for money. They spreads lies and gossip about celebrities, they turn facts into fiction, and they dig deep into the lives of innocent people until they find something to write about. They spread dishonest slander about people, especially if they can find an interesting news story.
There seems to be only 1 honest journalist nowadays: Brian Williams. Other than Brian Williams, the rest of the press is no different than the paparazzi.
There seems to be only 1 honest journalist nowadays: Brian Williams. Other than Brian Williams, the rest of the press is no different than the paparazzi.
Press Journalist 1: Look at this scoop! This man robbed a bank!
Press Journalist 2: No he didn't. The robbery was committed by one of the tellers. This man you are writing about is innocent.
Press Journalist 1: Haven't you learned anything about working for "The Press?" It doesn't matter whether or not we get the facts right, what only matters is that the facts are interesting! Now, put it on the front page.
Two weeks later, an innocent man loses his reputation because of a crime he did not commit.
Press Journalist 2: No he didn't. The robbery was committed by one of the tellers. This man you are writing about is innocent.
Press Journalist 1: Haven't you learned anything about working for "The Press?" It doesn't matter whether or not we get the facts right, what only matters is that the facts are interesting! Now, put it on the front page.
Two weeks later, an innocent man loses his reputation because of a crime he did not commit.
The Press by The Common Satirist July 30, 2013
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