Skip to main content

the phantom menace 

The first installment of the new Star Wars "prequel" trilogy. Not the worst Star Wars movie. Definitely not the best, but Attack of the Clones is BY FAR the worst movie.
Reasons The Phantom Menace is not the worst Star Wars movie:
- the podracing scene is pretty awesome
- free of Lucas' notoriously bad romance scenes
- the finale with multiple battles going on at once is spectacular, particularly the Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan vs. Darth Maul lightsaber duel, which is the most intense lightsaber fight of all 6 movies
- it was responsible for getting a whole new generation into Star Wars -- speaking from experience, this movie got me into the original trilogy when I was a kid (of course I now like the original trilogy far more than this movie)

Reasons it still kind of sucks:
- Anakin and Padme's dialogue is horribly stilted, and the movie is really not very well-acted on the whole
- It doesn't really seem like anything important happens, other than scooping up Anakin from Tatooine
- Jar Jar Binks. enough said.
the phantom menace by EonBlue987 October 8, 2009
the phantom menace mug front
Get the the phantom menace mug.
See more merch

The Phantom Menace 

The worst of the Star Wars movies, and also the one with the stupidest title (although Attack Of The Clones is daft, it doesn't sound like a name of a Scooby Doo episode).
Let's just look closely at the plot for a second..
Qui-Gonn Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi are sent to Naboo to negotiate an end to the blockade imposed by the Federation.. oh my god I'm yawning already. They rescue Padme and end up on Tatooine. Sadly without a hyperdrive.
So Qui-Gonn uses the Force to cheat at gambling with the locals, and enlists a 10 year old to race in an incredibly dangerous local sport. Does he care if the little squirt ends up as toast? No, not really - he didn't go there to rescue slaves. Anyway, they eventually manage to scam their way off the planet, taking Anakin with them since his midichlorians are off the scale. Uh huh.
Back on Coruscant, the Jedi Council pronounce Anakin unsuitable for Jedi training, so Qui-Gonn decides to do it anyway.
Cut to big battle on Naboo, carnage, improbable battle tactics, and didgeridoos cluttering up the soundtrack whenever we see the Gungans.
Darth Maul (one of the more rubbish Sith lords) kills Qui-Gonn and gets killed by Obi-Wan. Anakin saves the day. Palpatine starts touching him. Big street party, the end.

The special effects resemble something done to show off Luca's special effects workshop rather than anything to advance the story. Sadly, these effects are trounced by the WETA of LOTR fame.
Rubbish acting throughout, with wooden, humourless performances from all except Liam Neeson as Qui-Gonn and that guy who plays Palpatine.

Characters:

R2D2 - as usual, saves the day

C3PO - Annoying as ever

Qui-Gonn Jinn - now we found out what the Jedi were really like, a bunch of dodgy bastards

Obi-Wan Kenobi - should have been played by Russell Crowe.
Padme - Mmm, Natalie Portman.. shame she wasn't anywhere near as good as she is in Leon, or anything else

Palpatine - Like Liam Neeson, played by a great actor trapped amongst a cast of CG and equally lifeless actors

Jar Jar Binks - Die. Please. Just die. Galactic scum.
I'm surprised no-one else has defined The Phantom Menace. One word review - it's rubbish.
The Phantom Menace by Amidala's Pimp September 12, 2006

The Phantom Menace 

A threesome involving three men. Often two of which are in a relationship, hence the third party is the 'Phantom Menace' of the encounter.
'Hey Karl, me and Jonny are feeling adventurous tonight, fancy being the Phantom Menace?' Asked Frank.

Karl solemnly agreed.
The Phantom Menace by Quanks November 1, 2012
The word 'flag' as pronounced by people with thick Belfast accents. The term is a perfect encapsulation of the disproportionate and overblown reaction to the removal of the Union Jack (as in 'de fleg') from above City Hall in Belfast. Where previously it had flown for 365 days per year, it is now flown on 17 designated days of the year - in line with many other British cities.

The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.

The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.
"Wat de fuck like! The taigs got de fleg took down! Let's wreck de fuckin place! No surrender!"

"De fleg has been took down! Before ye know it there'll be a united Ireland! Attack Short Strand! God Save The Queen!"
Fleg by OnionFleg August 9, 2013
Word of the Day on July 18, 2026
To take something small, that doesn't quite qualify as a theft. Probably from the Danish "skæv" or the Dutch "scheef", both of which are pronounced similarly, meaning "askew, or not quite right'. To change an item's ownership without permission, but only something small and of little worth.
"I skeefed an apple off the neighbor's tree." "I skeefed some chips outta your bag when you looked away." "Don't skeef my chair when I go to the bathroom."
Skeef by kachinaflonk July 16, 2026
Word of the Day on July 17, 2026

Hair spider

A tight, tangled knot of loose hair and lint that forms inside clothing during the clothes dryer cycle. It typically hides inside garments, causing an annoying lump or a phantom tickling sensation against the skin until it is found or falls out onto the floor during folding.
I was folding my clothes and a huge hair spider fell out onto my hand
Hair spider by Kmorsels July 15, 2026
Word of the Day on July 16, 2026
n. A screenshot fabricated by a company to misrepresent the graphics of a game; a combination of the words bullshit and screenshot.

Originated from Penny Arcade, a popular gaming webcomic.
-Have you seen Madden 2006 for the Xbox 360? The graphics are gonna be awesome!
-Dude, the Madden 2006 images they showed at E3 were bullshots. It doesn't look nearly as good as they said.
bullshot by Worker Unit #503,298,545 September 26, 2005
Word of the Day on July 15, 2026