TeaTards are the political movement of backwoods whiteys headed by deceptress Sarah Palin. With a wink and some stillettos, they do whatever she commands. When reasonable people who are against tax-rate increases get stupefied by Sarah Palin, they become TeaTards.
"Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and tell Sarah to go take a hike," shouted the throng against the TeaTards.
or
Those lower-middle-class honkies are so self-righteous, they are prime examples of TeaTards.
or
You might be TeaTards if you are dumb, white, dumb, and hateful.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.